God Shuffled His Feet

Morning Everyone,

I haven’t been listening to anything new lately just a random mix of the large quantity of tunes that I already have on my computer. I’m often times surprised by what I have on here. I like the random shuffle selection because left to myself I tend toward the same things. So it forces me out of my little box of comfort. Like right now, I’m listening to either Glenn Miller or Duke Ellington (my song listings haven’t been updated on my new computer yet). It’s not something that I would have naturally selected but it’s good none the less. Of course that was immediately followed by the Crash Test Dummies ´God - shuffled his feet which is one of my all-time favorites but again I wouldn’t have chosen it this morning.

I thank God that he saves me from myself with change. It has been a time of change for me lately. As you know, I have been trying to make prayer a ‘discipline’ in my life over the last month but I have been reminded that, in my life at least, God seems to make it cyclical. I’m pretty sure I’ve said this before but God seems to take me through times when I am drawn to prayer like crazy. It may last a couple weeks and then the desire is gone. Some would say “well obviously you’re not disciplined enough. You need to work harder. You need to try more. Blah blah blah.”
Just living is hard enough work for me. I’m finding that prayer is more of a gift. It is given to me and I pray and then it is taken away (not completely but the urgency goes away) and then there is an unfolding. I guess it’s been a month or so ago that I started walking and praying in the mornings. And then the weather, which has been totally weird this spring, went south. That was followed by travel which severely messes with my head and routine. I still prayed but not in an orderly way.

I was pretty aggravated with myself over that; saying many of the above mentioned put downs to my self only a lot meaner and with fouler language. And then the weirdest things began to happen. My plans began to change. A meeting that I was supposed to go to on a Tuesday was moved to Monday so my Monday meeting had to be moved to Tuesday. At the Tuesday meeting I encountered an unexpected man that I wouldn’t have met if I had come on Monday. God used him to encourage me, strengthen me and remind me that He is the same God, working in much the same way that he worked in my life 25 years ago. It was a stirring and it was out of the blue.

I didn’t ask for it. I’m not sure I even wanted it but it was as if God was reminding me of his promises from years ago. He hadn’t forgotten; even though in the intervening years I had tried to run away. He reminded me of my calling and the fact that I’m doing what I do not because it’s a job but because he has called me to do it. I can run but I can’t hide. It is who I am and what I was made to be.

I try to forget those things but he won’t let me. He didn’t stop there. He nudged me, strongly encouraged me to pray for someone in a way I hadn’t prayed in 25 years. I prayed and it hurt. I laid my hands on this person and immediately their brokenness became my brokenness. I wept and sobbed. I grieved. And I was reminded of the call upon my life. A call that has been none too clear and that does not provide GPS; a vague call to a vague destination (at least on my side of the call).

Yes, vague. I know there are those of you out there who have been given clearer instructions than I have. You knew what you were going to do, took the necessary steps to get there, got there and were successful. I will admit that I am jealous, more accurately covetous and a little P.O.’d about it. Maybe I have a spiritual hearing disorder. More than likely I have a growth disorder. I heard the call long before I was able to begin to do the call. It’s like I was a paraplegic who received a calling to run marathons. It’s a wonderful thing that I have been healed enough to walk but yet my call is for something more than walking; it’s a call to run and that puts me in a continual state of dissatisfaction.

I expect more, maybe too much. But it is certainly not more than scripture promises. I could solve the whole problem by throwing out scripture and I would if I could but I can’t. I guess I could be like most people and just ignore the promises of God but that kind of defeats the purpose of believing in scripture doesn’t it? Why believe in something you’re not going to let impact your life?

Why have a promise that says God will bind up and heal the broken hearted and then live the rest of your life broken hearted? Why get sober and serve an impotent set of ideas that cannot reproduce life in you existence when you could be high and not care?

I’m beginning to see that this is the heart of the conservative liberal struggle in the church. Here are these people who say they have the scriptures all figured out. They have their doctrines fine tuned to perfection, but they have no power, they live lives of sin and brokenness behind masks of righteous indignation.

Then another generation arises and says these people are full of doggy do. They say all these things but we see behind the masks and they’re nothing more than liars. They say scripture is true and then they lie about their lives and say everything is ok when it’s not. The Scripture’s must not be the word of God or God must not be big enough to do what he says. So we will pursue a God who is strong enough and cares enough to do something in the real world.

Will the real creator of the universe please stand up?

Back to the Crash Test Dummies:
After seven days He was quite tired so God said:
"Let there be a day Just for picnics, with wine and bread"
He gathered up some people he had made Created blankets and laid back in the shade

The people sipped their wine And what with God there, they asked him questions
Like: do you have to eat Or get your hair cut in heaven?
And if your eye got poked out in this life Would it be waiting up in heaven with your wife?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

So he said:"Once there was a boy Who woke up with blue hair
To him it was a joy Until he ran out into the warm air
He thought of how his friends would come to see;
And would they laugh, or had he got some strange disease?

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

The people sat waiting Out on their blankets in the garden
But God said nothing So someone asked him: "I beg your pardon:
I'm not quite clear about what you just spoke
Was that a parable, or a very subtle joke?"

God shuffled his feet and glanced around at them;
The people cleared their throats and stared right back at him

I refuse to follow a God that shuffles his feet. I refuse to follow after an impotent, powerless but doctrinally sound God. I also refuse to re-make God in my own image. I understand the end results of God not being the absolute standard and I refuse to go there.

That leaves me in the nether world of pressing hard against the word of God until he either comes through with his promise keeping or the word breaks.

I believe with all my heart the truth will set me free. My question is when?

Here’s to grace and peace with great expectations,

Brad

www.cosmoyada.com