Painting by numbers

Morning to you all,

I was thinking, if, in 1973, my band teacher had let me hear Wood Herman’s album Giant Steps, I might still be playing the clarinet today. I just heard it for the first time this week and it is a really good set of music. Back then, to think that someone who was sixty could groove with such intensity was beyond the realm of comprehension for me. What a foolish thought. But, I can admit it now that I understand that time increases speed exponentially once you get past a certain point in life (the down hill side). I realize now that the 60 year mile marker will be speeding past in no time at all and I have yet to have completed a really good set of music.

One thing that I regret is that, as with my band teacher, there have been so few good teachers in my life. There have been plenty of instructors, people who give you the information, and then expect you to figure out how to do it. But, for instance, I don’t think I have ever met someone who could tell me the why’s of algebraic formulas. I’m not sure I know anyone who knows the why’s of algebraic formulas. I’m not sure I know anyone who knows what they are for. And that’s a sad statement.

It has taken me a long time to begin to search out the why’s. Most of my life has been spent studying to pass tests, not to learn the why’s of things and there is a huge gap between the two. The last time I was in test passing mode I was hoping to get ordained. Never mind that I was already ordained, it was a new place and new tests had to be passed. Somewhere in that process it dawned on me that my instructors in the process didn’t want me to think, they wanted me to jump through the hoops and not cause any problems. Just like all the teachers I had ever had: Tow the party line and we will let you pass.

When I finally saw it for what it was I dropped out of the testing process and gave up my chance to join the establishment. Other than the money, I have not yet regretted that decision. I have been blessed to be able to pursue ‘the why’ in recent years. It has caused me much pain, as in the above scenario, but it has also allowed me to be honest about faith and doubt, belief and unbelief. It has also allowed me to play a little more free form than some would like but though what I say and write is sometimes perceived as the equivalent of Avante Guard Jazz the reality is that there is a structure, purpose and meaning behind it all. I understand why I write, why I speak, why I do what I do for perhaps the first time ever in my life. And it has opened me up to minister in people’s lives like I could have never imagined. My paradigm of what a Christian should be and should do has shifted and I will never be able to go back to the old way of thinking. For that I will ever be grateful.

I gave one of my books to a waitress at Panera the other day. She was excited to get it, of course she hadn’t read it and so I wait for a post read response. I find that I have written some rather dichotomous books. People either love them or hate them. If they hate it they usually will never mention it ever again, nor will they look me in the eye. Such is the case at Lowes where I have given three books away. The first one loved it, gave it to her husband to read and he loved it. It opened up opportunities for dialog. The other two have stopped looking me in the eye. I’m getting used to the sound of silence.

But that silence dims in comparison to the joy that comes from someone looking me in the eye and saying ‘How did you know? I thought I was the only one who felt like that. I knew those characters because they were me.’ I’m looking for those people: The ones who get ‘the why ‘and want to dig deeper.

I’m finding that the dearth of teachers is proportionate to the dearth of people who really want to learn. I would take a handful of people that want to dig down to ‘the why’ in my life any day compared to a mega church of people just going through the motions. I long to see a generation arise that wants ‘the why’ so badly that they are willing to go against the grain of culture to get it. I don’t mean this pretend against the grain crap that is paraded in alternative circles these days. That’s just the same old self centered me-ism that has been going on since Eve was deceived and Adam tagged along for the ride.

I want see people get down to the heart of ‘the why’. Why do we follow the heard of lemmings over the cliff in every area of life? I want to see people start to say ‘no’ to the way we thoughtlessly do things. I want to see the death of cool. Why do we dress the way unbelievers say we should? Why do we make our homes and gardens better according to unbelievers? I understand that we think like unbelievers when it comes to better homes and gardens. We have believed the lie that those areas are neutral. What does it mean to think Christianly and act Christianly with regard to fashion in clothes and home decoration? What does it mean to think Christianly about energy consumption and being a part of a consumer society? When are we going to stop following the so called Christian script of our age and start THINKING about 'the why' and start living accordingly?

How long are we going to go gaga over the paint by numbers Last Supper that is our life instead of embracing the real last supper and the crucifixion and resurrection? Why are we so quick to paint by the numbers – and I want to be clear - just because you are not painting the same picture as the last generation doesn’t mean that you aren’t painting by the numbers: Painting a velvet Elvis, or a Lady GaGa portrait by the numbers is still painting by the numbers.

Perhaps James McMurtry says it best:
The gates of the schoolyard are padlocked and chained
to keep all the children in out of the rain
The art teacher's preaching the virtues of pastel shades
You pay no attention but it won't hurt your grades

You take a position In the old man's firm
He signs all the papers You agree to the terms
They let you run errands and you don't get days off
You take out the garbage and hope it pays off

You might be in grad school Up at M.I.T.
You might be down in the canal zone Being all that you can be
You might get to thinking you're ahead of the game but when you break it all down
It all comes out the same

'Cause you’re painting by numbers connecting the dots they don't have to tell you, you don't call the shots
You jump when they say jump and you don't ask how high 'cause painting by numbers they know you'll get by

You're painting by numbers connecting the dots
You work from the neck down as often as not


See it’s not enough to know theology even if it is orthodox, especially if it’s not. You can know all the formulas of algebra and pass all the tests in home school or the Montessori school (do they even have tests?) but that doesn’t make you a mathematician. Until true truths are applied in the real world in the lives of real people we have no more hope than the lost.

May you go deeper than the facts, find the whys, and live them out in every area of life.

Grace and Peace,
Brad