Hey Everyone,
It's thursday again but with a twist: I'm writing from home. I'm finally taking my good friday holiday. Time will tell if it will be a good thursday or not. I don't do well with my change of routine. It's been a good week, busy. I've been listening to the talking heads- a live record from the early 80's. The song life during wartime always strikes a chord with me: This ain't no party, this ain't no disco this ain't no fooling around No time for dancing, or lovey dovey I ain't got time for that now. It's easy to forget there's a war going on around us.
I reconnected with an old friend yesterday and the topic of conversation found its way to theology which, believe it or not, is a rarity these days. It's not often I hear the name Herman Dooyeweerd come out of someone's mouth unless I'm talking to myself again. It was a conversation about theology that made me want to buy books and study. I must admit I am a little jealous of my friend. He attended Calvin College in its heyday and set under Cornileus Van Til, Norman Shepherd, and John Frame at Westminster Theological seminary.
I realize that the majority of those reading this are going - so what? Because as important as those names are to me; to all but a few they are nothing but names. That, I fear, is a sad reflection of the times. We know the names of Elvis, John, Paul, George and Ringo, Frank Sinatra and Maryiln Monroe but not the men who have led the way in building a firm foundation from which Christianity can stand to fight against the enemies of the day.
Yesterday gave me a chance to talk Van Til which also usually only happens in my head. Now Van Til is a hard read but once you grasp the concept that every area of thought must begin with the Triune God things seem to fall in place.
I bring all this up because I have known for a long time these things were intricately tied to my calling. I know why I pastor where I pastor. I know why there are no yuppies or Doctors or Lawyers in my congregation at this time. I am just now coming to grips with the reason that is important. It is important because christianity and its call to disciple the nations begins with everyday kind of people.
You see the ideas of the mainstream religion of the day - Humanism - are no less complex than those of Van Til, but those that espouse them have worked hard and have been dilgent to communicate the complexity of their views into the language of the everyday people. And so now it is hard to listen or read or watch anything that isn't teaching you the philosophy of humanism. When you stand up, sit down, lay on your bed you are being taught the way you should go.
We have not been diligent in the church, in fact, we have been slack. We have spent our time watering down the message of the word of God so that everybody can get it but watering down and making understandable are not the same. It's like watering down a vaccine so that everybody can get a little bit. The result is that nobody is spared the ravages of the disease.
The humanism around us is not watered down, it is full strength. But it comes in the context of drama, comedy, news, music, business, recreation, politics etc. There is no segrgated humanism hour. The religion of Humanism is not separated from church or State, there is no nook or cranny that is too good or too bad for it. It has taken the biblical model of dominion and applied exceptionally well- to every area of life.
Those that have been propigating humanism on us for the last 200 years have understood clearly that it is not the movers and shakers nor the egg head philosophers that change a culture; it is joe shmo on the street. Unfortunately, the church doesn't understand this. We are still trying to take over politics, we are still trying to take our nation back, but until your neighbor understand and lives christianity to the depth that he currently lives his humanism nothing will change in this country. The truth is we don't want to become more christian we just want to go back to a time when humanism was prosperous.
Just because people are angry with what is going on doesn't mean that it is a good thing. It doesn't necessarily mean that we are moving toward a more christian nation. The tea parties are not a good thing in and of themselves. If all they do is shift us from the left to the right then we have much to fear. It is the right that gave us the Department of Homeland Security. It is right that has removed our freedoms quickly and easily in the name of fear. It is the right that has given wall street the ok to lie, cheat and steal to make a buck. It is the right that put us into premeptive war.
We must understand that our national foundation is wrong or we have no hope. Humanism is Humanism whether it is on the left or on the right. We must understand that we cannot go back to the good old days (if there were such things). We must press ahead and begin to lay the foundation for the 22nd century... now. If we don't then the mess we have today will look like a picnic in comparison.
We must begin to turn our focus downward, toward the people of our communities. We must begin discipling our nation, not at at the national level but at the local level. We must demonstrate to Joe Shmo the integrity and necessity of living all of life christianly and we must do it in words and ways that he can understand. We must provide opportunities for him to think without thinking. We must find ways to make him see the stupidity of a world without God and laugh at the absurdity of the absurd while showing him that reality is anything but absurd.
We have to think long and hard about what we believe before we can do that. We have got to create a full stregnth vaccine against humanism and anything that attempts to infiltrate and damage the body of Christ, once again. It has to become a part of our being and not just a part of our heads. We're not there yet. We have a hard enough time being Christians in our own families. If we can't win our families how can we win our neighbors? We want victory to be easy but the only thing that is easy is quitting.
May God raise up theological Jonas Saulks or Louis Pasteurs, who can get a full strength vaccine of Good News into the everyday man so that the disease of Humanism can be stopped first in our hearts, then in our families, our communities, the nation, and the world.
We are in the midst of warfare and we don't even know who the enemy is- As pogo said : We have met the enemy and the enemy is us.
Blessings on you as you expand the Kingdom of God in your sphere of influence.
Brad
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Strap Myself In etc.
There is a redeemer - one who did not fall
To him I hold out my filthy hands
He reaches into my casket and pulls me from the jaws of death
He whispers, “I love you”
He whispers, “You are mine.”
He whispers, “I will never let you go.”
He whispers, “You are righteous.”
He whispers, “You are a saint.”
He whispers, “You are holy.”
He whispers, “I will finish what I began.”
And I strap myself in and hang on for the ride.
++++++++++++ (and now for something completely different)
IOG
The image of God
On the human race
You can’t always see it on every face
The Chinese boy across the aisle
The semi old man without a smile
The homeless man with change for a brew
The image of God in me and in you
The image of God
In voluptuous sluts
Crack babies, liberals and republicans
The rich and the poor
The dumb and the smart
In children who love to hear the sound of a fart
The image of God
In the many and the few
On the broad highway and past the narrow gate
Creation is valuable even in its fall
How long ‘til its wonder consumes us all?
++++++++++++++(One more for the road)
The first one hit him with a right cross
His head went back and his eye turned blue
Somebody spit and it rolled down his cheek
The punches were many and the misses were few
Isn’t he Beautiful?
His face all swollen and the blood running down
The only innocent man in the whole damn town
Isn’t he beautiful with that blood running down?
To him I hold out my filthy hands
He reaches into my casket and pulls me from the jaws of death
He whispers, “I love you”
He whispers, “You are mine.”
He whispers, “I will never let you go.”
He whispers, “You are righteous.”
He whispers, “You are a saint.”
He whispers, “You are holy.”
He whispers, “I will finish what I began.”
And I strap myself in and hang on for the ride.
++++++++++++ (and now for something completely different)
IOG
The image of God
On the human race
You can’t always see it on every face
The Chinese boy across the aisle
The semi old man without a smile
The homeless man with change for a brew
The image of God in me and in you
The image of God
In voluptuous sluts
Crack babies, liberals and republicans
The rich and the poor
The dumb and the smart
In children who love to hear the sound of a fart
The image of God
In the many and the few
On the broad highway and past the narrow gate
Creation is valuable even in its fall
How long ‘til its wonder consumes us all?
++++++++++++++(One more for the road)
The first one hit him with a right cross
His head went back and his eye turned blue
Somebody spit and it rolled down his cheek
The punches were many and the misses were few
Isn’t he Beautiful?
His face all swollen and the blood running down
The only innocent man in the whole damn town
Isn’t he beautiful with that blood running down?
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Who Was it?
It’s Thursday Morning once again, greetings.
I’ve been listening to Hurricane Smith the last week or so. I’m sure you probably haven’t heard of him but you might know his big American hit – Oh Babe what would you say. Anyway, I was struck this week by the opening words of a Gilbert O’Sullivan penned tune called Who Was It? that is on the only album I’ve ever been able to find of Mr. Smith's in the States. You can actually hear the whole song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaUZmMyflrA
I’ve been thinking a lot about the providence of God and with that the care and love that he has for those who are his. The words go like this:
Who was it that caught you fallin’ and put you back on your feet?
And who was it that tripped you anyway, in order that the two of us could meet?
It was me and I’ll tell you why: Oh I did it because of my
Pure unabashed devotion to loving you.
Most of the time I live like a humanist; and not like the Christian that I profess to be. I say this because, when push comes to shove, when life gets hard I don’t see the hardness as coming from the hand of God for my good I see it as a mistake. I see it as random chance.
I mean why would God plan for me to be riding down 65 with my boss driving and have him start choking worse than I’ve ever seen anyone choke. which causes us to serve into another lane where other cars are also barreling down the highway at 70 plus mile per hour? By the grace of God we missed the other car by inch(es?) and eventual my boss started to breath again and everything was alright but why would God in His Providence plan something like that?
That was day one of my week. Day two I was working hard to complete a book revision and finish a new book. I have been working diligently on these two projects for a month trying to meet a deadline and suddenly in the blink of an eye it is all gone when my flash drive goes into meltdown and I lose all my work. ALL OF IT.
It’s much easier for me to say: it was an accident, it was chance, there was no meaning behind it. It’s easier to think like an unbeliever. But the truth is just because I can’t see the meaning in events doesn’t mean that there aren’t any.
From another perspective, I also have a difficult time seeing the love of God in near death experiences and lost work and yet scripture clearly tells us that all things work to the good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
To quote Van Morrison: When will I ever learn to live in God?
I’m hoping soon, and actually, I think this week has helped me make big strides in that direction. I think I am learning to understand the tension that is inherent in providence. To often the concept of providence or sovereignty, if you prefer, is used to try and diminish pain, suffering etc. by writing it off as the plan of God. Sometimes we banter around the sovereignty of God and his Providence as if it were a Nike commercial that tells us to ‘just do it’.
But I think that is a misunderstanding of God’s ways. Because this is God’s world, put together by God’s word and plan: Everything is meaningful – even my sadness and frustration, my joy, my pleasure, my boredom. I can embrace my frustration because it is a real emotion planned by God for a real purpose. Too often, at least in my experience, we try to shut down our emotions as non-essential to our lives. Now, that might be true if emotions were random bits of meaningless chance. But because our emotions are created by God, and planned by God, when they occur in our lives the perhaps we should learn to pay more attention to them. What are they telling us about life, about God, about ourselves?
When I am fuming at the loss of a month’s work: What is my anger about, who is it focused on? Most of the time, if I stop and think about it, when I get angry: I’m angry at God. If he’s so powerful why doesn’t he do something about this? Why doesn’t he fix my flash drive? Why doesn’t he recreate my files on another harddrive? What’s his problem anyway? In other words, I’m acting like a spoiled brat.
I really do act like that – a lot. It hit me this week that underlying all my bitching and moaning at God is the fact that when it comes down to it I don’t trust him, I don’t believe his word. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. I think I know better. Once again I am thinking like a humanist – like Adam and Eve.
I used a passage out of Philippians’ chapter one as a benediction last week (by the way sorry about no sermons being attached the last couple of weeks – they have to be written before they can be attached) which included verse six: For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will accomplish and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Somehow, some way, this is beginning to sink into my hard head this week. Everything that happens in my life is planned to be there to make me what I am meant to be. I keep forgetting that I haven’t arrived, that I will not arrive in this life. I am becoming like Jesus and this life has been planned to ensure that that happens.
The unfolding of my days are the unfolding of God’s pure unabashed devotion to loving me. While I am yet a sinner God loves me. He loves me so much that he will not let me have my way – that is a concept we have lost in child rearing isn’t it? He won’t let me have my way because my way will kill me. I am a self destructive fool if left to myself. My heavenly Father cares enough about me, loves me enough to say ‘no you can’t have that’ but you do need this. He loves me enough to unfold every single second of my day with the purpose of accomplishing and completing the process of making me holy and blameless in Christ Jesus which really means he is focused on making me alive, fully alive. See the scripture gives us the law of God and says: Do this and live. If that is true then we won’t be fully alive until we lay aside our lawlessness.
I haven’t fully wrapped my head or my heart around that yet. To think that God loves me with no ulterior motives; just because he wants to, is mind boggling. It is deeper than my dysfunctional self can comprehend most days. To add to that the fact that he loves me so much that he has promised to defeat death in my life and make me alive – fully alive someday just blows me away. (Yes I know I have all of that in Christ Jesus but there is a big difference between having a red rider BB gun on lay away and holding in your hands on Christmas day).
I’d like to say I had it all figured out but if I ever do please call me a liar. I don’t have anything figured out except I think I know that this is God’s world, I am God’s creature living in the midst of God’s providence. I look forward to the day, probably after I am dead, when I quit kicking against everything that God does and wants and fully and completely embrace his pure unabashed love for me.
Even as I write these things I just received word that my office mate Fred lost his son to a heart attack that lead to an accident on the interstate while he was driving to the hospital. My eyes can’t see good enough to make sense of that. My heart is not soft enough to let that sink in. The first thing in my head was that could have been me on Monday. My second thought was have mercy on Fred dear God, don’t give him more than he can bear.
May God be merciful to us all and in the tragedy that is the fall reveal to each and every one of us his pure unabashed devotion to loving us.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
I’ve been listening to Hurricane Smith the last week or so. I’m sure you probably haven’t heard of him but you might know his big American hit – Oh Babe what would you say. Anyway, I was struck this week by the opening words of a Gilbert O’Sullivan penned tune called Who Was It? that is on the only album I’ve ever been able to find of Mr. Smith's in the States. You can actually hear the whole song at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaUZmMyflrA
I’ve been thinking a lot about the providence of God and with that the care and love that he has for those who are his. The words go like this:
Who was it that caught you fallin’ and put you back on your feet?
And who was it that tripped you anyway, in order that the two of us could meet?
It was me and I’ll tell you why: Oh I did it because of my
Pure unabashed devotion to loving you.
Most of the time I live like a humanist; and not like the Christian that I profess to be. I say this because, when push comes to shove, when life gets hard I don’t see the hardness as coming from the hand of God for my good I see it as a mistake. I see it as random chance.
I mean why would God plan for me to be riding down 65 with my boss driving and have him start choking worse than I’ve ever seen anyone choke. which causes us to serve into another lane where other cars are also barreling down the highway at 70 plus mile per hour? By the grace of God we missed the other car by inch(es?) and eventual my boss started to breath again and everything was alright but why would God in His Providence plan something like that?
That was day one of my week. Day two I was working hard to complete a book revision and finish a new book. I have been working diligently on these two projects for a month trying to meet a deadline and suddenly in the blink of an eye it is all gone when my flash drive goes into meltdown and I lose all my work. ALL OF IT.
It’s much easier for me to say: it was an accident, it was chance, there was no meaning behind it. It’s easier to think like an unbeliever. But the truth is just because I can’t see the meaning in events doesn’t mean that there aren’t any.
From another perspective, I also have a difficult time seeing the love of God in near death experiences and lost work and yet scripture clearly tells us that all things work to the good to those who love God and are called according to his purpose.
To quote Van Morrison: When will I ever learn to live in God?
I’m hoping soon, and actually, I think this week has helped me make big strides in that direction. I think I am learning to understand the tension that is inherent in providence. To often the concept of providence or sovereignty, if you prefer, is used to try and diminish pain, suffering etc. by writing it off as the plan of God. Sometimes we banter around the sovereignty of God and his Providence as if it were a Nike commercial that tells us to ‘just do it’.
But I think that is a misunderstanding of God’s ways. Because this is God’s world, put together by God’s word and plan: Everything is meaningful – even my sadness and frustration, my joy, my pleasure, my boredom. I can embrace my frustration because it is a real emotion planned by God for a real purpose. Too often, at least in my experience, we try to shut down our emotions as non-essential to our lives. Now, that might be true if emotions were random bits of meaningless chance. But because our emotions are created by God, and planned by God, when they occur in our lives the perhaps we should learn to pay more attention to them. What are they telling us about life, about God, about ourselves?
When I am fuming at the loss of a month’s work: What is my anger about, who is it focused on? Most of the time, if I stop and think about it, when I get angry: I’m angry at God. If he’s so powerful why doesn’t he do something about this? Why doesn’t he fix my flash drive? Why doesn’t he recreate my files on another harddrive? What’s his problem anyway? In other words, I’m acting like a spoiled brat.
I really do act like that – a lot. It hit me this week that underlying all my bitching and moaning at God is the fact that when it comes down to it I don’t trust him, I don’t believe his word. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. I think I know better. Once again I am thinking like a humanist – like Adam and Eve.
I used a passage out of Philippians’ chapter one as a benediction last week (by the way sorry about no sermons being attached the last couple of weeks – they have to be written before they can be attached) which included verse six: For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will accomplish and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.
Somehow, some way, this is beginning to sink into my hard head this week. Everything that happens in my life is planned to be there to make me what I am meant to be. I keep forgetting that I haven’t arrived, that I will not arrive in this life. I am becoming like Jesus and this life has been planned to ensure that that happens.
The unfolding of my days are the unfolding of God’s pure unabashed devotion to loving me. While I am yet a sinner God loves me. He loves me so much that he will not let me have my way – that is a concept we have lost in child rearing isn’t it? He won’t let me have my way because my way will kill me. I am a self destructive fool if left to myself. My heavenly Father cares enough about me, loves me enough to say ‘no you can’t have that’ but you do need this. He loves me enough to unfold every single second of my day with the purpose of accomplishing and completing the process of making me holy and blameless in Christ Jesus which really means he is focused on making me alive, fully alive. See the scripture gives us the law of God and says: Do this and live. If that is true then we won’t be fully alive until we lay aside our lawlessness.
I haven’t fully wrapped my head or my heart around that yet. To think that God loves me with no ulterior motives; just because he wants to, is mind boggling. It is deeper than my dysfunctional self can comprehend most days. To add to that the fact that he loves me so much that he has promised to defeat death in my life and make me alive – fully alive someday just blows me away. (Yes I know I have all of that in Christ Jesus but there is a big difference between having a red rider BB gun on lay away and holding in your hands on Christmas day).
I’d like to say I had it all figured out but if I ever do please call me a liar. I don’t have anything figured out except I think I know that this is God’s world, I am God’s creature living in the midst of God’s providence. I look forward to the day, probably after I am dead, when I quit kicking against everything that God does and wants and fully and completely embrace his pure unabashed love for me.
Even as I write these things I just received word that my office mate Fred lost his son to a heart attack that lead to an accident on the interstate while he was driving to the hospital. My eyes can’t see good enough to make sense of that. My heart is not soft enough to let that sink in. The first thing in my head was that could have been me on Monday. My second thought was have mercy on Fred dear God, don’t give him more than he can bear.
May God be merciful to us all and in the tragedy that is the fall reveal to each and every one of us his pure unabashed devotion to loving us.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Is she really going out with him?
Morning Everybody,
Well, I was asked this week to enter the blogosphere with my weakly thing that I write. I call it a thing because what is it exactly? - diatribe might be appropriate. Anyway, I already had a blog but those 4 posts I had put on there in 2008 were getting a little moldly by this time. So I updated my page (which you can see at http://withgodonhisside.blogspot.com/ ). The title will probably be misunderstood so I will give you my thought processes on it. It is not that I think God is on my side (his side) but rather that I want to be with God on HIS side. It is, of course, a slur on Bob Dylan's song With God on OUR side. That's enough of that.
Anyway, if you want to read the exact same thing that I send out every week only with pretty colors, an advertisement for my book(s), and a fake norman rockwell redneck family picture then click above. Or if like me you want to feel like I have a bit of import in the world you can go to Andrew Sandlin's website for the Center for Cultural Leadership http://web.me.com/pandrewsandlin/New_CCL_2/Welcome.html and then click on the New section and you will find me under Worship. (There's a leap). It is a much more awe inspiring journey than just getting an email from me every week.
I find it rather ironic that I implemented my blog the same week that I watched Julie and Julia- which is a movie about a blogger that gets famous - famous enough to get her blogging turned into a movie and a book. I must admit that I found myself a little jealous, a little coveteous. I mean come on all she does is write about cooking through Julia Child's cook book and she gets to be famous and rich. So now that my blog is offically open for business I expect the wealth and fame to just come rolling in. But so far the New York Times hasn't called.
The truth is the only thing that is rolling in for me is lots and lots of work co-mingled with bits and pieces of covetousness. Had I known what I know now 40 years ago I would have gotten a full time job, maybe two, at the age of 9. Forget school it hasn't helped me pay the bills one bit. Then I would have retired from menial labor about 10 years ago and be able to spend my every waking hour studying and writing and doing what so many of my pastoral peers get to do every day.
Julie and Julia didn't help me with any of this angst at all. In fact, it only increased my frustration and my covetousness. That's not to say it wasn't a good movie. It is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Julie Childs, I mean Meryl Streep, is amazing at playing Julia Childs. The movie obviously revealed a bit of my heart to me. That boy that wants to hit the big time playing rock and roll and getting money for nothing and the chicks for free is still alive and well and living in my body -as old and over the hill as it is. I don't know that he will ever leave. I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it.
Now I don't feel this frustration all the time. Maybe I've gone three months since I've found myself wallowing in covetousness, ok maybe it's three days but my life used to be centered around it 24/7. I hungered and thirsted over getting rich and famous on somebody else's buck and talent. I worshipped at the altar of Cream Magazine.
Maybe now days I've just changed magazine subscriptions. I mean really I'm too old to rock and roll and too young to die so what's left? The ministry. Of course if I can't get on the cover of rolling stone maybe I can get on the cover of Christianity Today or just go viral on the internet with my massive new blog. Maybe I can sell 400,000 copies of my books like the writer of the Shack. I'd like to have a problem like that.
I find myself on the short end of the stick from my own heart's desires most of the time. I think that is code for I don't get the object of my covetousness very often --(NEVER).
Now that I've gotten that out of my system let me think about why. Why is God so mean that he refuses to give me what I want? Probably, because it would kill me. I was reading something by either Calvin (not the Calvin and Hobbes Calvin the OTHER Calvin) or R.J Rushdoony the other day that was talking about God creating our lives specifically to make us what he wants us to be. Everything that comes into our lives is geared toward shaping and forming us into that which God has planned us to be. I can't say that I'm all that wild about that. It's not something I'm thrilled over (at least today). I mean he could have thrown a large sum of cash into the plan or some fame. I mean all I want is 5 minutes more than every one else. Could it be so hard to plan 20 minutes of fame and glory for me?
Obviously, I haven't gotten that out of my system yet. And to be honest, with this covetousness bombarding me I have felt twinges of the need to run away.Those of you who have known me for any length of time probably know that running is one of the things I have done the best in my life. Any problem can be solved if you can just run fast enough or long enough in the opposite direction.
Remembering that, remembering how I used to be, reminds me of the mess that it made of my life. And remembering the mess reminds me that it was pain that lead me to change. And the place that I am in now, as hard as I may think it is, is a result, not of being a loser, but of growing up.
I have to remember that I can't go back and have a do over with what I know now because I know what I know now as a result of experience and mostly because of the pain caused by pretending to know what I was doing when I didn't have a clue.
It's so easy to forget what the past was like. I don't remember pain from back then so I think it was better. But I get in trouble when I don't remember that I didn't feel pain because I was numb. Sobriety doesn't feel nearly as good as numbness. Responsiblity isn't nearly as fun as irresponsiblity. Those are true statements but that doesn't mean that they are helpful statements. I have to continually remind myself that the present is the best time of my life. I have no glory days to look back on. I am looking forward to those. I am looking forward to not being a flash in the pan. I am looking forward to not being a rock and roll star or a trendy pastor on cable tv. I'm looking forward to finding out what the heck God intends to make out of my life with his crazy plan.
Yeah, I still flirt with covetousness. Somedays I long to be numb again. I take those as reminders to look back and remember, to remember and then vow (God willing) to never go back. There were no good old days. And if I think that there were then I am lying to myself. There is only this day that I am living now. How do I make it a good day in the midst of all the things that go into making a day for Mr. Stephens? Not as easy as it sounds. But I will blink a couple of times and find myself looking back on today in no time at all.
I'm learning to quit making Joe Jackson's Is she really going out with him? the anthem of my life. But it's been there so long that it's a hard habit to break. Especially, if the "she" in the song is money or fame. Here's the lyrics:
Pretty women out walkin' with gorillas down my street From my window I'm starin' while my coffee goes cold Look over there (Where?) There! There's a lady that I used to know She's married now or engaged or somethin', so I'm told Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight?Is she really going out with him? Cause if my eyes don't deceive me There's something going wrong around here Tonight's the night when I go to all the parties down my street I wash my hair and I kid myself I look really smooth Look over there (Where?) There! Here comes Jeannie with her new boyfriend They say that looks don't count for much and so there goes your proof But if looks could kill There's a man there who's marked down as dead Cause I've had my fill Listen you - take your hands from her head I get so mean around this scene cause there's something going wrong around here
--
Maybe someday none of this will matter but I doubt if today is the day.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Well, I was asked this week to enter the blogosphere with my weakly thing that I write. I call it a thing because what is it exactly? - diatribe might be appropriate. Anyway, I already had a blog but those 4 posts I had put on there in 2008 were getting a little moldly by this time. So I updated my page (which you can see at http://withgodonhisside.blogspot.com/ ). The title will probably be misunderstood so I will give you my thought processes on it. It is not that I think God is on my side (his side) but rather that I want to be with God on HIS side. It is, of course, a slur on Bob Dylan's song With God on OUR side. That's enough of that.
Anyway, if you want to read the exact same thing that I send out every week only with pretty colors, an advertisement for my book(s), and a fake norman rockwell redneck family picture then click above. Or if like me you want to feel like I have a bit of import in the world you can go to Andrew Sandlin's website for the Center for Cultural Leadership http://web.me.com/pandrewsandlin/New_CCL_2/Welcome.html and then click on the New section and you will find me under Worship. (There's a leap). It is a much more awe inspiring journey than just getting an email from me every week.
I find it rather ironic that I implemented my blog the same week that I watched Julie and Julia- which is a movie about a blogger that gets famous - famous enough to get her blogging turned into a movie and a book. I must admit that I found myself a little jealous, a little coveteous. I mean come on all she does is write about cooking through Julia Child's cook book and she gets to be famous and rich. So now that my blog is offically open for business I expect the wealth and fame to just come rolling in. But so far the New York Times hasn't called.
The truth is the only thing that is rolling in for me is lots and lots of work co-mingled with bits and pieces of covetousness. Had I known what I know now 40 years ago I would have gotten a full time job, maybe two, at the age of 9. Forget school it hasn't helped me pay the bills one bit. Then I would have retired from menial labor about 10 years ago and be able to spend my every waking hour studying and writing and doing what so many of my pastoral peers get to do every day.
Julie and Julia didn't help me with any of this angst at all. In fact, it only increased my frustration and my covetousness. That's not to say it wasn't a good movie. It is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. Julie Childs, I mean Meryl Streep, is amazing at playing Julia Childs. The movie obviously revealed a bit of my heart to me. That boy that wants to hit the big time playing rock and roll and getting money for nothing and the chicks for free is still alive and well and living in my body -as old and over the hill as it is. I don't know that he will ever leave. I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it.
Now I don't feel this frustration all the time. Maybe I've gone three months since I've found myself wallowing in covetousness, ok maybe it's three days but my life used to be centered around it 24/7. I hungered and thirsted over getting rich and famous on somebody else's buck and talent. I worshipped at the altar of Cream Magazine.
Maybe now days I've just changed magazine subscriptions. I mean really I'm too old to rock and roll and too young to die so what's left? The ministry. Of course if I can't get on the cover of rolling stone maybe I can get on the cover of Christianity Today or just go viral on the internet with my massive new blog. Maybe I can sell 400,000 copies of my books like the writer of the Shack. I'd like to have a problem like that.
I find myself on the short end of the stick from my own heart's desires most of the time. I think that is code for I don't get the object of my covetousness very often --(NEVER).
Now that I've gotten that out of my system let me think about why. Why is God so mean that he refuses to give me what I want? Probably, because it would kill me. I was reading something by either Calvin (not the Calvin and Hobbes Calvin the OTHER Calvin) or R.J Rushdoony the other day that was talking about God creating our lives specifically to make us what he wants us to be. Everything that comes into our lives is geared toward shaping and forming us into that which God has planned us to be. I can't say that I'm all that wild about that. It's not something I'm thrilled over (at least today). I mean he could have thrown a large sum of cash into the plan or some fame. I mean all I want is 5 minutes more than every one else. Could it be so hard to plan 20 minutes of fame and glory for me?
Obviously, I haven't gotten that out of my system yet. And to be honest, with this covetousness bombarding me I have felt twinges of the need to run away.Those of you who have known me for any length of time probably know that running is one of the things I have done the best in my life. Any problem can be solved if you can just run fast enough or long enough in the opposite direction.
Remembering that, remembering how I used to be, reminds me of the mess that it made of my life. And remembering the mess reminds me that it was pain that lead me to change. And the place that I am in now, as hard as I may think it is, is a result, not of being a loser, but of growing up.
I have to remember that I can't go back and have a do over with what I know now because I know what I know now as a result of experience and mostly because of the pain caused by pretending to know what I was doing when I didn't have a clue.
It's so easy to forget what the past was like. I don't remember pain from back then so I think it was better. But I get in trouble when I don't remember that I didn't feel pain because I was numb. Sobriety doesn't feel nearly as good as numbness. Responsiblity isn't nearly as fun as irresponsiblity. Those are true statements but that doesn't mean that they are helpful statements. I have to continually remind myself that the present is the best time of my life. I have no glory days to look back on. I am looking forward to those. I am looking forward to not being a flash in the pan. I am looking forward to not being a rock and roll star or a trendy pastor on cable tv. I'm looking forward to finding out what the heck God intends to make out of my life with his crazy plan.
Yeah, I still flirt with covetousness. Somedays I long to be numb again. I take those as reminders to look back and remember, to remember and then vow (God willing) to never go back. There were no good old days. And if I think that there were then I am lying to myself. There is only this day that I am living now. How do I make it a good day in the midst of all the things that go into making a day for Mr. Stephens? Not as easy as it sounds. But I will blink a couple of times and find myself looking back on today in no time at all.
I'm learning to quit making Joe Jackson's Is she really going out with him? the anthem of my life. But it's been there so long that it's a hard habit to break. Especially, if the "she" in the song is money or fame. Here's the lyrics:
Pretty women out walkin' with gorillas down my street From my window I'm starin' while my coffee goes cold Look over there (Where?) There! There's a lady that I used to know She's married now or engaged or somethin', so I'm told Is she really going out with him? Is she really gonna take him home tonight?Is she really going out with him? Cause if my eyes don't deceive me There's something going wrong around here Tonight's the night when I go to all the parties down my street I wash my hair and I kid myself I look really smooth Look over there (Where?) There! Here comes Jeannie with her new boyfriend They say that looks don't count for much and so there goes your proof But if looks could kill There's a man there who's marked down as dead Cause I've had my fill Listen you - take your hands from her head I get so mean around this scene cause there's something going wrong around here
--
Maybe someday none of this will matter but I doubt if today is the day.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Thursday, April 8, 2010
poor lost soul
Morning to you all,
I’ve been reminded more and more of the importance of finishing the race of life. As Christians, we are called to be finishers not just starters. It’s not the person who says “Yes, I’ll go” but then doesn’t’ go that gets accepted by the father. It’s the one that goes regardless of what he said at the beginning.
I have a friend, whether in the Lord or out I know not which, and perhaps friend is not the appropriate word either, I have former family who at the age of 50 plus finds himself in jail facing prison time. I have mixed emotions about that. Mixed emotions because the reality is he didn’t do anything, he didn’t sin, at least externally. But in the last few years our criminal justice system has been passing laws so that they can do preemptive strikes on criminals; they love to do a little shock and awe on the bad guys before they actually commit a crime so that we can prevent crime from even happening.
I find it interesting that I always hear people (especially church people) get all bent out of shape over the concept of a theocracy. They bitch and moan about how cruel it would be, how mean. People who say that obviously have not taken the time to seriously read the law of God or they have Christianity confused with Islam. The truth is in biblical law there is no such thing as preemptive justice period.. In fact, even if there is sin there is not punishment if the crime can’t be proven by two witnesses.
My friend did nothing but think about adultery. In some, sense he was simply trying to relive a little of his glory days, perhaps prove to himself that he wasn’t as old as his body was telling him. Maybe he was hoping to find that his idol was as powerful to save as it ever was. I don’t know but whatever his motives the truth is he didn’t DO anything. He talked about it. He texted about it. He drove three hours to do it. BUT he was arrested BEFORE he could sin on the pretext that he was going to sin by someone who enticed and entrapped him into false and misleading situation in the first place.
Now it is true that from a biblical perspective adultery is a capitol sin but it is only a punishable sin if first, it actually happens, and second there are two witnesses. If those things are not met there is no punishment in this life. Judgment is left to God.
The move of our justice system in the direction of minority report (which is a great movie if you haven’t seen it) makes me quiet nervous. Our move toward the protection of “children” at the expense of the rights and freedoms of the individual sets a precedent that makes me nervous for the church. Perhaps you can’t see it but I can see a time when the state will begin to protect ITS children from parents and from the church. You attempt to teach them the ‘wrong’ things and they will send you to jail for the attempt to corrupt a minor.
Anyway, that was my first response to my friend being in jail. The other was the response of Christians in his life. To my own chagrin I must admit that I haven’t been a part of his life for over thirty years and even then it was a peripheral thing; we were forced to interact through marriage. Even back then I knew he was angry at something. He quietly seethed against the things of God all the while being forced to participate until he was old enough to run away. Now, that he’s in his fifties and has fallen and can’t get up the faithful few gather together to pray for his poor lost soul.
It reminds me of a James McMurtry song (for those of you who like westerns he is Larry McMurtry’s son –Lonesome Dove) called, oddly enough, Poor Lost Soul:
You heard the bright lights calling Many years ago
You never came back crawling How you hung in there I don't know
You're at home in the big town You got it all figured outBack home they can't believe it They don't know what you're about
Your sister loves Jesus She drives an OldsmobileSays you ought to come visit Says what you need is a home-cooked meal
And she prays for your poor lost soulAnd she prays for your poor lost soul
Your brother was a doctor They sent him to the penMedicare fraud They say he's doing it again
Your mother's doing all right She owns a quick-stop storeShe used to call every Sunday But she doesn't anymore
She just prays for your poor lost soul
She just prays for your poor lost soul
Sometimes you got to wonder How it all would've beenAnd you wonder if you had to Could you go back again
You fly home for Christmas dinner It's just like the good old daysFighting with your mom Fighting with your sisterYour brother had sense So he stayed away
Back home in the big town You got it all figured outAnd isn't it a comfort knowing Without a doubt
They’ll all pray for your poor lost soul
--You see the truth is my friend was trained up in the ways of anger and rebellion by those who brought him into this world. Sure the words of the good news were spoken but the actions of the heart taught him how to live. They trained him up in the way he should go and he went that way. He’s been growing the fruits of the spirit that abides in him for a long, long time but they were acceptable fruits and he was quiet, and didn’t cause any trouble anymore so everything was ok. Until this mess.
But I have hope for my friend. Maybe now that the charade is over for him he can find the truth and turn from death to life. I don’t really care if he gets saved in the traditional sense. Everybody that he knows is saved in the traditional sense and what good has it done them? They’re still just as bitter and angry and screwed up as he is they just put on nice clothes and waste their Sundays at church pretending everything is ok.
I see a man who has been stuck in death and taught to live death his whole life and I wonder if he has the courage to taste life this late in the game. I also wonder if the church has done so much damage to this poor lost soul that he can’t see life for the death he has been taught in the name of Jesus.
Perhaps someday the church will turn from it’s sin, it’s idolatry of worshiping part of the word of God but not all of it, it’s sin of mouthing the words of scripture but never letting them get under their skin, of pretending to run the race while actually being couch potatoes (it does have an e) with very busy schedules; of being wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Perhaps, but I’m not going to hold my breath.
This is our fault and until we come to grips with that we will reap what we sow and harvest time is coming.
Brad
I’ve been reminded more and more of the importance of finishing the race of life. As Christians, we are called to be finishers not just starters. It’s not the person who says “Yes, I’ll go” but then doesn’t’ go that gets accepted by the father. It’s the one that goes regardless of what he said at the beginning.
I have a friend, whether in the Lord or out I know not which, and perhaps friend is not the appropriate word either, I have former family who at the age of 50 plus finds himself in jail facing prison time. I have mixed emotions about that. Mixed emotions because the reality is he didn’t do anything, he didn’t sin, at least externally. But in the last few years our criminal justice system has been passing laws so that they can do preemptive strikes on criminals; they love to do a little shock and awe on the bad guys before they actually commit a crime so that we can prevent crime from even happening.
I find it interesting that I always hear people (especially church people) get all bent out of shape over the concept of a theocracy. They bitch and moan about how cruel it would be, how mean. People who say that obviously have not taken the time to seriously read the law of God or they have Christianity confused with Islam. The truth is in biblical law there is no such thing as preemptive justice period.. In fact, even if there is sin there is not punishment if the crime can’t be proven by two witnesses.
My friend did nothing but think about adultery. In some, sense he was simply trying to relive a little of his glory days, perhaps prove to himself that he wasn’t as old as his body was telling him. Maybe he was hoping to find that his idol was as powerful to save as it ever was. I don’t know but whatever his motives the truth is he didn’t DO anything. He talked about it. He texted about it. He drove three hours to do it. BUT he was arrested BEFORE he could sin on the pretext that he was going to sin by someone who enticed and entrapped him into false and misleading situation in the first place.
Now it is true that from a biblical perspective adultery is a capitol sin but it is only a punishable sin if first, it actually happens, and second there are two witnesses. If those things are not met there is no punishment in this life. Judgment is left to God.
The move of our justice system in the direction of minority report (which is a great movie if you haven’t seen it) makes me quiet nervous. Our move toward the protection of “children” at the expense of the rights and freedoms of the individual sets a precedent that makes me nervous for the church. Perhaps you can’t see it but I can see a time when the state will begin to protect ITS children from parents and from the church. You attempt to teach them the ‘wrong’ things and they will send you to jail for the attempt to corrupt a minor.
Anyway, that was my first response to my friend being in jail. The other was the response of Christians in his life. To my own chagrin I must admit that I haven’t been a part of his life for over thirty years and even then it was a peripheral thing; we were forced to interact through marriage. Even back then I knew he was angry at something. He quietly seethed against the things of God all the while being forced to participate until he was old enough to run away. Now, that he’s in his fifties and has fallen and can’t get up the faithful few gather together to pray for his poor lost soul.
It reminds me of a James McMurtry song (for those of you who like westerns he is Larry McMurtry’s son –Lonesome Dove) called, oddly enough, Poor Lost Soul:
You heard the bright lights calling Many years ago
You never came back crawling How you hung in there I don't know
You're at home in the big town You got it all figured outBack home they can't believe it They don't know what you're about
Your sister loves Jesus She drives an OldsmobileSays you ought to come visit Says what you need is a home-cooked meal
And she prays for your poor lost soulAnd she prays for your poor lost soul
Your brother was a doctor They sent him to the penMedicare fraud They say he's doing it again
Your mother's doing all right She owns a quick-stop storeShe used to call every Sunday But she doesn't anymore
She just prays for your poor lost soul
She just prays for your poor lost soul
Sometimes you got to wonder How it all would've beenAnd you wonder if you had to Could you go back again
You fly home for Christmas dinner It's just like the good old daysFighting with your mom Fighting with your sisterYour brother had sense So he stayed away
Back home in the big town You got it all figured outAnd isn't it a comfort knowing Without a doubt
They’ll all pray for your poor lost soul
--You see the truth is my friend was trained up in the ways of anger and rebellion by those who brought him into this world. Sure the words of the good news were spoken but the actions of the heart taught him how to live. They trained him up in the way he should go and he went that way. He’s been growing the fruits of the spirit that abides in him for a long, long time but they were acceptable fruits and he was quiet, and didn’t cause any trouble anymore so everything was ok. Until this mess.
But I have hope for my friend. Maybe now that the charade is over for him he can find the truth and turn from death to life. I don’t really care if he gets saved in the traditional sense. Everybody that he knows is saved in the traditional sense and what good has it done them? They’re still just as bitter and angry and screwed up as he is they just put on nice clothes and waste their Sundays at church pretending everything is ok.
I see a man who has been stuck in death and taught to live death his whole life and I wonder if he has the courage to taste life this late in the game. I also wonder if the church has done so much damage to this poor lost soul that he can’t see life for the death he has been taught in the name of Jesus.
Perhaps someday the church will turn from it’s sin, it’s idolatry of worshiping part of the word of God but not all of it, it’s sin of mouthing the words of scripture but never letting them get under their skin, of pretending to run the race while actually being couch potatoes (it does have an e) with very busy schedules; of being wolves in sheep’s clothing.
Perhaps, but I’m not going to hold my breath.
This is our fault and until we come to grips with that we will reap what we sow and harvest time is coming.
Brad
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