Atlantic City

Morning Everyone,

I’m considering selling myself as an indentured servant, or maybe a better term is slave but it has to be biblical 6 year term slavery. I understand now why that is in the bible, for people like me. Here’s the deal: I need someone to buy me for $250,000. That’s only $42,000 per year. Of course, since you will be buying me I need the cash up front. Think of it as a signing bonus. Then I will work at any lawful task as many hours a week 6 days a week as you need me.

Some of you may be asking “why would you sell yourself into slavery?” The answer is I am already a slave. I’m a slave to Sallie Mae and 5/3 bank, not to mention the federal governement. Sallie Mae has already taken me for $82,000 while only taking $4,000 off my principle. And when the government said it guaranteed those loans it meant that it guaranteed Sallie that I would pay them or go to jail.

You see it’s for people like me that the biblical slavery laws were written. We’re the kind of people who know firsthand that the race doesn’t go to the swift, or wealth to the righteous but time and chance happen to all. I have worked hard all my life but my back has been up against the wall. And the bible gives people like me a way out: Slavery, short term slavery.

I made this offer several years ago to someone and they said “You don’t need to do that; what you really need to do you need to get involved in a business venture.” They paid me what they considered $10 dollars an hour ($500 a week) [40 plus hours a week] with the promise of a big pay off at the end. At the end of that year I was $25,000 deeper in debt: Time and chance happened with a vengeance. So now, as the Band sings and Bruce Springsteen wrote in the song Atlantic City: I have the kind of debt an honest man can’t pay. That's the effect I have on business ventures.

You see if you were to buy me I could end my bondage to Sallie Mae and the bank and I would have enough money to live on for the entire 6 years. Yes, I would be in bondage to you but only for 6 years. I’ll go to my grave in bondage otherwise.

I’ll be honest, I know me, there is not going to be some big break through. I’m not going to get a big advance for a book or record deal. I’m not going to find the dream job that will pay me 6 figures. Those hopes were dashed a long time ago. It’s not like I’m an idiot or anything. I can write for you, I can do counseling for you (Masters in Clinical Psych), I will sell you my copyrights, I can do remodeling. I work way too hard for the money. I can record an album for you, fix up vhs tapes on dvd, do work in photoshop, put your books in epub format, or kindle or anything you need, write songs for you, get books in print for you but I just can’t sell them (for some reason I am not and never will be a sales man). If I had a little bit of time I could figure out web design for you. I’m sure there are other things that I could and would be willing to do. I would guarantee you your money’s worth. I would sign a contract and I could be somewhat flexible on the terms.

See I don’t mind working 80 hours a week to be debt free. I’m just about doing that now and the end is not in sight. In my current state of working 65 plus hours a week, if God is really good to me, I will get everything paid off before I die – If I live to be 100.

I bring this up because I hear all this talk about learning to live biblically but all I hear are excuses when it comes to slavery. We’re too good for that. Slavery is a sin. WE abolished that a long time ago. But the truth is slavery is not a sin. Kidnapping is a sin ­­–not slavery. And kidnapping and buying kidnap victims is what we did in this country for so long- not slavery. Slavery is in the bible as a tool to help the poor not hurt them. I would rather be your slave than Sallie’s.

Let me be blunt: I don’t need to hear that critical tone of voice say the borrower is slave to the lender. That condescending voice that implies that if I would have just worked harder, tried harder been a better Christian, loved a little deeper that none of this would have happened. That is the voice of Job’s friends not the voice of God. I don’t need to hear those things because I tell them to myself over and over and over again.

Sure I would prefer to implement a year of jubiliee or a simple Sabbatical year and just let the debts be wiped free but nobody except the poor would ever concede to such outlandish biblical behavior. That’s probably why there is no biblical record of either of them EVER occurring. God didn't really mean for those things to be done he just said do them.

To be honest I think there are millions of people in the world crying out for release from bondage. I, obviously, am not all that proficient at using freedom. Therefore, biblical slavery for a six year period would be a true blessing to me and my family. In fact, I would like to be able to say at the end of those six years, “I love my master and I don’t want to leave”. Hey, my ear is already pierced.

If you do the math, at 80 hours a week it’s a steal. It comes out to about $10 an hour. If you feel guilty paying me so little you could decrease my hours to 40 a week and pay me $20 an hour.

I’ll wait for your emails (and for the check to clear before I sign any papers).

Yours Truly,

Grandpa Grace