Sleep to Dream

Hey Everyone,

I had one of those dreams last night that left me with a bad taste in my mouth when I woke up. In this dream it seemed as if a child had taken me and I guess some of my family hostage. I don’t remember if he had a bomb or what but there was some reason that we felt powerless to do anything. All I know is eventually we were able to sneak the receiver off the phone and dial 911. I woke up about 4 with that rather unsatisfying ending rolling over me and so I rolled over and went back at it.

Once back in dream land I finally got fed up that a kid was hold us hostage and so I tackled him and just sat on him until the whole thing was over. I had just had enough. There really wasn’t any resolution. I mean it ended with me sitting on him waiting for somebody to come and clean up the mess.

So at 4:30 when the alarm went off I was in a rather foul mood. I got up and dressed and headed out of the house for a walk. I grumbled out a prayer as I walked and it began to dawn on me that I was the child. There is this big baby inside me that doesn’t want to grow up and so he’s hold me hostage. If I grow up too much he threatens to blow the whole thing to smithereens.

I see it oh so clear as I have begun to do stretching via the command of my doctor. I hate stretching. I have hated stretching since I was a kid. Visions of the 96 lb skin and bones middle schooler in a white t-shirt and red gym shorts that looked like they were10 times to big because the legs that came out of them were like pencils. He hated being there. He hated pain: The pain that I feel today as I keep my back straight and move an inch toward my feet and feel every joint, tendon and muscle scream bloody murder.

He tells me it’s not worth it. He whispers, ‘Bodily exercise profiteth little.’ (Yes he uses the king james version). And once again he tries to take me hostage. A child is still trying to take me hostage. He would rather be dead than stretch and feel the pain. I would rather live and feel the pain so I stretch.

For most of my life he has won. I spent the first thirty years of my life running from pain of any kind. I spent the last 20 years finally facing the mental pain that comes with growing up. Now I’m trying to face physical pain without turning and running away. I’m hoping that I will see the same profit of health and peace of mind working through this pain as I did when I dealt with my mental anguish. I’m tired of being held captive by a middle schooler. I pray that I can grow up some more.

Life isn’t anything like I thought it would be. Growing up is a pain in the ass. The other day, I saw a “news” story from the website The Onion that said that the latest census report shows that there are less than 100 Grownups left in the Nation. (You can read it here: http://www.theonion.com/articles/nation-down-to-last-hundred-grownups,20491/ )
It made me laugh and feel sad at the same time because it is true we are a nation of people held hostage by children with full grown bodies: just look at politics, just look at the church, just look inside.

It is really the war of our age. Well, I’m tired of being held hostage by a brat named me. I think a Fiona Apple song fits nicely here. (I should probably sing it to myself everyday).

I tell you how I feel, but you don’t care
I say tell me the truth, but you don’t dare
You say love is a hell you cannot bear
And I say gimme mine back and then go there for all I care.

I got my feet on the ground and I don’t sleep to dream
You got your head in the clouds and you’re not at all what you seem
This mind, this body and this voice cannot be stifled by your deviant ways
So don’t forget what I told you: don’t come around I’ve my own hell to raze

The choice is before us all: Do we grow up or do we just grow old? I’m opting for growing up because that is the call of God on all believers’ lives- press on to the higher calling, to the mature man not to mention I'm tired of being held hostage by that brat. I don’t want to cheat myself of the benefits of the path of life any more than I have already. I don’t want to miss hearing: well done good and faithful servant enter into the joy of your master on the other side of the finish line because of the threats of a middle schooler.

Feeling the tug of the hamstrings,

Yours truly,

Stretch Armstrong

Cosmoyada.com