My last post at With God on HIS side

It is with a desire to consolidate my writing, better use my time, and help a scattered brain focus on the tasks at hand I have decided to move my weekly blog to my website. You can now find my ramblings at http://www.cosmoyada.com/blog/

Thanks to all who have willfully or accidentally taken the time to read what I write. I would hope that if you have enjoyed my words and thoughts you will follow me at the new site which of course will be

http://www.cosmoyada.com/blog/

Grace and Peace,

Brad

Life's Been Good

Morning one and all,

I’m sure some of you are somewhat appalled by the things that come from the tips of my fingers and the dark recesses of my mind each week. I also know that what I intend to say is not always what is heard. For instance, last week when I said I would like to sell myself into slavery some of you thought that I was overwhelmed with life, or that things were just horrible and I wanted to get out of a mess.

While I would like to get out of a mess, things aren’t horrible. In fact, they are better than they have been in a long, long time. Over the past 5 years God has blessed me so much that I have been able to eliminate somewhere around $30,000 of debt. I have two decent jobs that treat me very well. It is me that doesn’t treat me very well, nobody else, especially not God. I am blessed in so many ways. God is growing me up and changing me like never before. My life is really, really good.

As Joe Walsh sang in Life’s been good: Lucky I'm sane after all I've been through. Everybody says I'm cool (He’s cool). I can't complain but sometimes I still do. Life's been good to me so far.

Life, like baseball has been bery bery good to me. I am thankful for that. I really am. By the grace of God I have been able to almost dig myself out of the hole that I’ve been trapped in for most of my life. To be honest, the financial part of that hole is miniscule compared to all the other components.

To be sober for close to 20 years, married to a wonderful woman for 19, live in the same city (ok county) for over 20 years, and to have worked steadily for as long as I have are things that most people might take for granted but they are blessings of grace to me. They are things that I did not have the will or the power to do the first thirty years of my life.
Yes, the wheels of grace turn way too slowly for me some days. I have wasted over half of my life in true and real bondage; first to abuse and then to addiction so I could forget the pain. Now there is a huge part of me that wants more than anything to make up for lost time.

But the truth is there is no lost time. I needed, yes I can say it now, needed to be where I was back then, to feel the pain so bad that I needed to numb it and then experience the catastrophe of numbness so I could claw my way back to reality. I needed all of that in order to become whatever it is I’m supposed to become when I get big. From my point of view right now it looks like I’ve still got a long, long way to go to get big.

Yet I also know that the hole called my life could have been a whole lot deeper. I know where I could have gone but didn’t. I know of at least three friends who are or were in prison; one for murder, one for drugs and one for sex. Just a couple more turns on the path and I could have been at any of those destinations. I know friends who are dead or insane. I know plenty of people who refuse to change at all. They’re happy with numb. And I will admit that it is a good feeling, feeling no pain. But the goal isn’t feeling good; it is being good.

As you can tell by my emails I’m not all that excited about reality sometimes. Jesus certainly seemed a lot nicer when I thought life was pain free. But it wasn’t that Jesus was nicer but rather that I didn’t have a clear understanding of the fall. I didn’t know the depths of pain that it caused. I couldn’t taste the veil of tears because I was numb. I couldn’t relate to a man of sorrows. I thought Jesus was supposed to be Mr. Happy go lucky.

How can someone who has never known the depth of bondage in his own life in talk to people about freedom? They can’t. Someone who never knew they were lost doesn’t get all that excited about reaching their destination. It took me thirty years of being saved to realize that I was lost. It’s taken another 20 for me to get my true bearings in the real world. And though my footing is probably surer than it has ever been it still feels shaky because I’m standing on new legs, in new world and it’s not what I’m used to. Like Joe Walsh, I'm just looking for clues at the scene of the crime.

Today, I am thankful and very grateful for where I am. If I had any more I’d be able to avoid pain. If I had any less I might be overwhelmed by the weight. As it is, I’m at a place where I can’t be comfortable. There is a yearning for more. That ‘more’ is the fullness of salvation that I see in scripture. I’m not satisfied because I see the Word and I know my life and my life isn’t where scripture says salvation should be. So I press on to the higher calling.

I long to have the Word made manifest completely in my life. I long for the brokenness that I see inside me to be made whole. I long for the kingdom to be established in my heart and mind. And these things are being done. It’s just so slow that it makes me want to scream out with the saint’s under the altar in revelation: HOW LONG?

I truly am grateful to God for all that he has and is doing. I am a blessed man because God is saving me from myself a little each day. He’s not just saving me, he is growing me up, and though it is not what I would have asked for it; is what I need.

Life, as it is these days, is showing me the depth of my entanglements. God by his grace is slowly giving me both the will and the power to lay those entanglements aside. My heart is yearning for the day when I can run free the race sat before me.

Oh that wonderful day when I will be able to run without dragging chains behind me. Oh the day when the Word is completely manifest in my life. What a day of rejoicing that will be.

Grace and Peace,

Grandpa Grace

Atlantic City

Morning Everyone,

I’m considering selling myself as an indentured servant, or maybe a better term is slave but it has to be biblical 6 year term slavery. I understand now why that is in the bible, for people like me. Here’s the deal: I need someone to buy me for $250,000. That’s only $42,000 per year. Of course, since you will be buying me I need the cash up front. Think of it as a signing bonus. Then I will work at any lawful task as many hours a week 6 days a week as you need me.

Some of you may be asking “why would you sell yourself into slavery?” The answer is I am already a slave. I’m a slave to Sallie Mae and 5/3 bank, not to mention the federal governement. Sallie Mae has already taken me for $82,000 while only taking $4,000 off my principle. And when the government said it guaranteed those loans it meant that it guaranteed Sallie that I would pay them or go to jail.

You see it’s for people like me that the biblical slavery laws were written. We’re the kind of people who know firsthand that the race doesn’t go to the swift, or wealth to the righteous but time and chance happen to all. I have worked hard all my life but my back has been up against the wall. And the bible gives people like me a way out: Slavery, short term slavery.

I made this offer several years ago to someone and they said “You don’t need to do that; what you really need to do you need to get involved in a business venture.” They paid me what they considered $10 dollars an hour ($500 a week) [40 plus hours a week] with the promise of a big pay off at the end. At the end of that year I was $25,000 deeper in debt: Time and chance happened with a vengeance. So now, as the Band sings and Bruce Springsteen wrote in the song Atlantic City: I have the kind of debt an honest man can’t pay. That's the effect I have on business ventures.

You see if you were to buy me I could end my bondage to Sallie Mae and the bank and I would have enough money to live on for the entire 6 years. Yes, I would be in bondage to you but only for 6 years. I’ll go to my grave in bondage otherwise.

I’ll be honest, I know me, there is not going to be some big break through. I’m not going to get a big advance for a book or record deal. I’m not going to find the dream job that will pay me 6 figures. Those hopes were dashed a long time ago. It’s not like I’m an idiot or anything. I can write for you, I can do counseling for you (Masters in Clinical Psych), I will sell you my copyrights, I can do remodeling. I work way too hard for the money. I can record an album for you, fix up vhs tapes on dvd, do work in photoshop, put your books in epub format, or kindle or anything you need, write songs for you, get books in print for you but I just can’t sell them (for some reason I am not and never will be a sales man). If I had a little bit of time I could figure out web design for you. I’m sure there are other things that I could and would be willing to do. I would guarantee you your money’s worth. I would sign a contract and I could be somewhat flexible on the terms.

See I don’t mind working 80 hours a week to be debt free. I’m just about doing that now and the end is not in sight. In my current state of working 65 plus hours a week, if God is really good to me, I will get everything paid off before I die – If I live to be 100.

I bring this up because I hear all this talk about learning to live biblically but all I hear are excuses when it comes to slavery. We’re too good for that. Slavery is a sin. WE abolished that a long time ago. But the truth is slavery is not a sin. Kidnapping is a sin ­­–not slavery. And kidnapping and buying kidnap victims is what we did in this country for so long- not slavery. Slavery is in the bible as a tool to help the poor not hurt them. I would rather be your slave than Sallie’s.

Let me be blunt: I don’t need to hear that critical tone of voice say the borrower is slave to the lender. That condescending voice that implies that if I would have just worked harder, tried harder been a better Christian, loved a little deeper that none of this would have happened. That is the voice of Job’s friends not the voice of God. I don’t need to hear those things because I tell them to myself over and over and over again.

Sure I would prefer to implement a year of jubiliee or a simple Sabbatical year and just let the debts be wiped free but nobody except the poor would ever concede to such outlandish biblical behavior. That’s probably why there is no biblical record of either of them EVER occurring. God didn't really mean for those things to be done he just said do them.

To be honest I think there are millions of people in the world crying out for release from bondage. I, obviously, am not all that proficient at using freedom. Therefore, biblical slavery for a six year period would be a true blessing to me and my family. In fact, I would like to be able to say at the end of those six years, “I love my master and I don’t want to leave”. Hey, my ear is already pierced.

If you do the math, at 80 hours a week it’s a steal. It comes out to about $10 an hour. If you feel guilty paying me so little you could decrease my hours to 40 a week and pay me $20 an hour.

I’ll wait for your emails (and for the check to clear before I sign any papers).

Yours Truly,

Grandpa Grace

Girls LTD

Morning Everyone,

It’s been a rough couple of weeks; so yesterday, when I was invited to go partying; I jumped at the chance. I needed to cut loose. It was gang night at Party Central. Most of the dancers were from a crew called the Raptors. Sounds tough but really they are some of the nicest people I know. They are a great group of special people and I was privileged to get to hang out with them.

The party started slow: simple food and conversation but after a while the DJ began to lay down some tracks in the dance hall and the crowd slowly migrated in his direction. I stood on the periphery clapping. The girl I had my eye on didn’t want anything to do with me; she always plays hard to get when I’m around. Plus, she was being hit on by some player who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. At one point, when I’d had enough of Mr. Player, I danced my way between them. It wasn’t long before he moved on to a different target.

In a couple minutes, I was joined by Cale; a guy I’ve met at the bowling alley a few times who likes to tell me how I can be a better bowler. Not sure what draws him to me but he is drawn. We stood around watching a few people dancing. The party had yet to kick into high gear.

When the DJ started playing the YMCA that was my cue to break the ice. Cale was not so inclined but I knew he was watching. We kept chatting and watching more and more people begin to dance. He asked me who was singing Jailhouse rock. I told him Elvis and he said, “Oh yeah”. Not sure he’d heard of him before. For the simple reason that I knew who Elvis was; I was out of my league in that crowd; because even Cale knew more songs than I did. When the Funky Train song came on he gave me the eye that seemed to say, ‘I want to do this but the only way I will is if you go out there too.’ The girl I had my eye on was in line so pretty soon we were doing the Funky Train. It derailed several times but nobody seemed to care.

Pretty soon I had moved closer to the action. It wasn’t long before I heard: “Everybody clap your hands.” Hearing that fortified my desire to go to more Minor League baseball games because that’s the only placed I heard that one before: Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. I’ve got a fever and the only cure is more cowbell. It was the first funky line dance of the night. I failed miserably.

I tried again to dance with the girl I had my eye on but it was short lived; so I danced with her friend, Kiera. An older woman asked Cale to dance but he refused. But it wasn’t long before my own dancing must have let him know it was alright for guys to dance because I saw him on the other side of the room dancing with another friend, Jackie.

I was really rusty on the Chicken Dance, not my forte. I’m more of a rhythm and blues, funk kind of guy. But this was a younger crowd and so I had to play the hand that was dealt me.

Don Dixon has a song called Girls LTD and the chorus says: “Most of the girls like to dance but only some of the boys do.” That is not the case with the Raptors. I’m pretty sure it was 50- 50 on the dance floor; there is a slight chance there were more boys than girls cutting a rug. As usual, I was the only non-special man busting a move.

Eventually it began to get late and so I told Cale I was going to go but then the DJ said the Cuban Shuffle was getting ready to play. Cale exclaimed, “I love this song”. So I threw my coat on the floor and got ready to learn funky line dance number two. I muddled my way through the first verse; Cale was doing much better than me. But then I eyed a couple of young ladies to my right who actually knew what they were doing and so I moved over by them and pretty soon I was in the groove (except when the dance caused me to be in front of everyone; then I was dancing while looking over my shoulder). Pretty soon I was doing the Cuban Shuffle with the best of them. At the end some mother high fived me and said, ‘You did good”.

When the Cuban Shuffle was through I put my coat on for the second time, shook hands with Cale and told him “thanks” for hanging out with me. Then another mother, Cales’ mother to be exact, the older woman who had been soundly rejected as his dancing partner earlier, came up to me and asked me who I was with. I looked around the room, pointed to the girl who had been rejecting me all night and said, “I’m Anna Grace’s grandfather.” She thanked me for hanging out with Cale. But there was no need to thank me; I was glad he had hung out with me. I needed to be able to cut loose for a while.

I don’t know when I’ll get to spend time with the Raptor’s again. I may not see them until spring when they will all participate in the 2012 Olympics. I will miss them. I’ve been hanging out with them down at the bowling alley almost every Tuesday this fall.

As I made my way through the hot sweaty crowd, the girl who’d been rejecting me all night gave me a look that said, “Now it’s ok” and so we briefly busted a move together. I was glad.

As I turned again to go, Alex, a sharped dressed young man in his fedora, tie and vest said, “Goodnight Grandpa Grace.”

I think I’d like that to be my name on the other side of this veil of tears.

As I was driving home two things became clear to me: First, I need to get out more, out of my head and out of the house. Second, I realized that we all have special needs. It’s just that most of us keep it a secret while others don’t have a choice. May God’s grace touch us all where we need it most.

Grace and Peace,

Brad

I WILL CHANGE YOUR NAME

Morning Everyone,

More often than not I have to be forcefully reminded of what is really going on in my life. I get so caught up in the day to day of read, write, work, exercise, sleep, ad nauseum that I forget what is important or I lose track of where I’ve been and where I’m heading. I get lost in the midst of the struggle with my old man so much sometimes that the fight can almost feel overwhelmingly hopeless. If you’ve read this blog more than once you have obviously experienced that first hand.

In the midst of pursuing the calling it is easy to forget that we have a calling because we have been redeemed. Yes, there is a struggle with sin, with the old man, there can be no doubt of that, but if the struggle begins to overwhelm us then perhaps it is time to go back and remember what has happened in our lives; to remember the promise of redemption.

The random mix that I played on my computer this morning helped me put it in perspective at least temporarily. It started out with Tom Petty singing Even the Losers get lucky sometimes. A note that rings all too true to my soul but then it was followed by John Michael Talbot singing: One body in Christ, one; One bread of life broken for many so that the many in him may be whole.

With those words I was reminded: That I will be made whole. That is what this is all about. This life, this work, this mess, this process is about wholeness: Becoming whole but not making yourself whole - being made whole.

That thought process continued when Andy Pratt started singing one of my all-time favorite worship songs: I will change your name You shall no longer be called Wounded, outcast, lonely or afraid. I will change your name. Your new name shall be Confidence, joyfulness, overcoming one Faithfulness, friend of God One who seeks My face.

Americans are clueless about names. As Butch says in Pulp Fiction: “I’m American, our names don’t mean sh^%.”

But they do mean something to God. The name is the essence of who you are. When Jacob the deceiver had an encounter with YWHW his name was changed to Israel –God prevails. His name change depicted the change in his heart. I believe that is where the concept of having a Christian name comes from. When you come to Christ you become a new creature on the inside and YWHW gives you a new name.

That is something to be thankful about. There are people out there who really don’t believe in truth; they really don’t believe the word of YWHW to be the word of YWHW. But you see I am such a mess even after 51 years of pressing on to the higher calling that if the word of YWHW is not absolutely true then I have no hope at all. I know what I’m like on the inside. When I was young and still blind to my true condition I thought I could, with enough time and perseverance, make everything alright. I realize now eternity isn’t enough time for me to make everything inside me alright. I have to be made alright and for that I need the transcendent other worldly Ywhw to immanently come down to me and speak his word of truth. I need him to speak my name into existence.

I have to hang on to the absolutely true for all time and all places truth of Isaiah 62: For Brad’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Mr. Stephens’ sake I will not keep quiet, until his righteousness goes forth like brightness, and his salvation like a torch that is burning.

The nations will see his righteousness, and all kings his glory; and he will be called by a new name which the mouth of the LORD will designate. He will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of his God. It will no longer be said to him, “Forsaken,” nor to his land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”; But he will be called, “My delight is in him.”

One body in Christ means that those words apply just as equally to you as they do to me.

I can barely hold back the tears of joy as I contemplate these things. Wholeness, and not only wholeness but to also be YWHW’s Delight is promised by the sure word of the Mighty One over all of creation.

Let us remember the promises of YWHW as we break bread and stuff turkey this year so that we will have something to hope for and to be thankful for.

God keeps his true word.

Grace and Peace,

Brad

Why Me Lord?

Hey Everyone,

Yes, I'm running late this week. It's been crazy busy. I don't even have a sermon in the works yet.

I wonder sometimes how long it’s going to take to get somewhere else. I've been in this landing pattern for the longer than any other stage of my life. Sometimes the nomad inside me starts whispering in my ear and I want to run fast and furiously down some dead in street and into the brick wall of oblivion. In an age of irresponsibility that’s the easiest substitute for a real cure.

I don’t want to be a grown up in the age of preschoolers. In the words of Kris Kristofferson: Why me Lord? What have I ever done? Pick somebody else. Can’t I just waste away in Margaritaville looking for my lost shaker of salt?

I've decided I wouldn’t want to be Moses for all the money in the world. I can certainly understand his hesitancy to agree to do God's call. Please pick somebody else. I mean, he had a sweet deal going in Midian. Sure it was a step down from being Pharaoh’s grandson but still; he married into a good family, had a good wife, kids and an extraordinarily wise father in law. All he had to do was tend sheep. No people management skills required. No people management aggravation required. No excessive responsibility required. Forty years of minimal aggravation and then God came along and messed the whole thing up.

In almost no time at all he goes from the good life tending rather brainless sheep to a living nightmare tending close to 5 million brainless, heartless, faithless people. His success rate with them was minimal at best. Their unbelief forced him to walk in a large circle around a mountain for forty years. Most of the 5 million died in the wilderness because the Lord was not pleased with them. Of the original generation to leave Egypt only two men and perhaps their wives even crossed into the Promised Land. That would not please the church growth people at all. The stress of dealing with these people caused Moses to lose his cool so badly that God refused to let HIM go into the promise land. He was only allowed to take a little peek at it from on top of the mountain right before he died.

Forty years of being the Pharaoh’s grandson, forty years of being a family man, and then forty years of hell on earth working with a bunch of faithless whiners in the service of Ywhw God of the universe. All I can say is that the retirement benefits better be really, really good.

Yes, my faith gets stretched very thin sometimes. Like Jeremiah I cry out:

Righteous are You, O LORD, that I would plead my case with You; Indeed I would discuss matters of justice with You: Why has the way of the wicked prospered? Why are all those who deal in treachery at ease? You have planted them, they have also taken root; They grow, they have even produced fruit. You are near to their lips But far from their heart. But You know me, O LORD; You see me; And You examine my heart’s attitude toward You. Drag them off like sheep for the slaughter and set them apart for a day of carnage! How long is the land to mourn and the vegetation of the countryside to wither? For the wickedness of those who dwell in it, Animals and birds have been snatched away, because men have said, “He will not see our latter ending.”

I know the feeling. Oh, by the way he was praying all of those things about the church; they were the wicked he was concerned with. I don’t know of an instance of anyone ever repenting through Jeremiah’s ministry. It seems tradition tells us that his congregation either stoned him to death or put him in a log and sawed him in two in Egypt after all of the things he said came to pass.

All that said, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve run too long and too far to quit the race now.

I am reminded of Psalm 139. Where can I go from your Spirit oh Lord? For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.

These days that I live are my days; created especially for me. This is the day that Ywhw has made let me rejoice and be glad. The question remains: How?

Grace and Peace to you in the midst of your custom made day,

Brad

In the Year 2525

Greetings to ya'll,

You’d think by this time it would be easy, just sit down, type something out and put it in the air and on the wires. Ixna on that.

I’m heading out of town today going back to Illinois to see my folks, my kids and my grandchildren. Actually, I will only get to see my grandson Obi but I will be in the presence of my granddaughter Guinevere (She will be 30 before I learn how to spell her name). I’ll get to see her sometime in February. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m starting to learn to enjoy going back to Illinois as I get older. When I was younger, well, I didn’t care if I ever went back there. It has a strange effect on me still but it gives me plenty of fodder to put in my novels. What is it Flannery O’Connor once wrote? Ah yes: “Anybody who has survived his childhood has enough information about life to last him the rest of his days.”

Thankfully I don’t remember all that much of my younger days so I am free to embellish as I write. I probably learn as much about myself through the process of creating a book as anyone. I’m glad writing is a lot cheaper than therapy (although with my massive sales figures the jury may still be out on that one).

If all goes well it looks like I’ll be picking up the artwork for the 5^th book on this trip. My son in law Kent has graciously created the covers for all my books so far. I love his style. And I’m always pleasantly surprised with what he comes up with. I must say I’m somewhat nervous this time around. This new book, called ‘Just Business,’ is a difficult book. Some of my avid proof readers haven’t made it past the first few chapters. It’s a difficult subject – modern day sex trade slavery. The original idea wasn’t mine. It came from my friend Joel about three years ago.

While it is a difficult topic, it is a topic that needs to be acknowledged: there is more slavery on this planet in our day and age than there ever has been before. Why shouldn’t there be; there is less godliness than there ever has been (Lots of religion very little godliness). Survival of the fittest dictates that the un-fittest be trampled to meet the needs of cream that’s rising to the top. So I guess the 1% really only need the 99% to be their stepping stones to the next level.

We are on the threshold of experiencing the consequences of our ideas like never before. From a biblical perspective as opposed to Darwin’s, no stone will be unturned in the advance of the kingdom of God but it may not be in my life time (sorry Obi, Gwen, Tommy, Abbey, Anna, John Michael and Elan but it may be in yours, my dear grandchildren).

I think there are a lot of church people who would just as soon turn a blind eye to the world in which we live and take up residence at Disney World where the endings are always happy and the truth is never told. But the scripture says that one of our tasks is to expose unfruitful deeds of darkness. It is the truth that sets us free. I find it rather ironically convenient that post-modernism denies that we can even know truth. If that’s the case then there is nothing to expose, there is only money to be made through the exploitation of children.

I try to deal openly, honestly and tactfully about this one area of darkness in our world in this new book. As my absentee proof readers have evidence it may not be tactfully enough. Some things are just difficult.

Changing subjects, I started putting together the sixth book a couple of weeks ago from bits and pieces of things I’ve written and ideas I’ve jotted down over the last couple of years. This one will be much lighter (not sure how it could get much darker or heavier). When I find the time to write it seems to be going rather smoothly. The working title is Sonny Lane. It’s a mixture of old characters and new and focuses back on Corpus Christi, TN (the fifth takes place mostly in Illinois, Thailand, Montana and Minneapolis) and will include some interesting twists and turns (most of which I haven’t thought of yet but I do believe Whitehead may try his hand at standup comedy). I’m thinking this one should be done by 2525.

As the one hit wonders Zager and Evans sang in 1969: In the year 2525 If man is still alive If woman can survive They may find…they Ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies Everything you think, do or say is in the pill you took today…

Or they may find the truth staring them in the face like a high watt searchlight. Yes, I’m a little more optimistic than Zager and Evans. In 2525 the Kingdom of God will have grown exponentially. Who knows what nation this spot I’m writing from will be in. Who knows what will be remembered of this dark time in the history of the planet. But if the promises of God are true; it will be lighter. The mountain will be filling the earth with each passing day. And the saints from every age will be rejoicing as they cry out Reign on King Jesus.

May you lay a foundation stone in the Kingdom of God today,

Brad

Amused to death

Good Morning one and all,

This may sound odd coming from someone who seems to do nothing but whine each week in your virtual mailbox, but I continue to be encouraged by the things I’m reading these days. I’m courage because I’m beginning to understand that there are likeminded people out there. I’m discovering books through new friends that are confirming the direction I’ve been heading in the faith. It’s good to be able to realize that you don’t have to be a frontiersman mapping out new territory all the time.

I tend to isolate myself with my reading selections. Part of that is my dualist/fundamentalist background which taught me to be wary of anything and everything. Over the last half of my life the grace of God has begun to let me test the spirits of the wood, hay and stubble that has been the foundation of my life. I’m learning to trust the Holy Spirit, and myself to be able to discern truth. Yes, contrary to modern fictions I still believe in truth.

I have been blessed over the last few months to find many compadres in the faith from the people of the Netherlands as well as South Texas. I’m thinking about changing my last name to Van Stephens or my first name to Herman or Klaus so I will fit in better. I’ve been reading Christian Philosophy non-stop for nearly three months now. That in itself is a milestone for me; given that my above mentioned background that had me believing that studying anything but the bible was of the devil or at least tainted and God forbid, secular.

I’ve come to understand over the last 25 years that such ideas are not Christian in any way, shape, or form; they are lies. They are weak spots in the foundation of my faith. I’ve been doing a lot of re-construction of my faith foundation over the second half of my life. For those of you who don’t think that philosophy can be Christian, well, I would ask you to reconsider. When the scriptures tell us that we should take every thought captive to Christ they mean every thought: math thoughts, philosophy thoughts, engineering thoughts, every thought in every area of life needs to be taken captive for Christ. It’s time we quit borrowing lies from the rebellious and started building a solid foundation of truth; there’s that word again, I know. It is truth alone that will set us free.

In that last paragraph I started to write ‘building upon a foundation of truth’ but then I realized that most of us in the faith don’t have a solid foundation, we have hybrid foundations, clay mixed with iron or rock mixed with sand. Until we get those repaired I don’t think there will be any building of the kingdom that won’t have to be torn down and rebuilt at some other time.

Understanding the faulty foundations of the church in our lifetime helps me to understand why the church is so impotent, so irrelevant, so meaningless in the 21^st century. We are not thinking God’s thoughts after him; we are thinking man’s thoughts after ourselves. We no longer believe this is God’s world or God’s church, everything is man’s and though most of us would never say ‘We wrote the bible and we can re-write it if we want to’ as some in our generation have said, we live like it just the same. We have let liars tell us what truth is. We have let the experts tell us where our place in the world should be and so we end up living out our so called faith in private because we’ve believed what we’ve been told that religion doesn’t belong in the public sphere. Of course that was told to us by those who worship man in the public sphere but never mind the man behind the curtain. We have believed the myth of neutrality and we are close to destruction because of it.

I took a break from reading straight Philosophy this week because I was starting to have nightmares that included Immanuel Kant and Heidegger. Not really but I was overloaded from reading the same things from three different people: Dooyeweerd, Spier and Strauss. While I am learning a whole lot about the history of Philosophy and the need for biblically based philosophy my goal is not to be a Christian philosopher; my goal is to be able to think biblically in every area of life that I am called to be a part of. I want to think more and more biblically as I write novels, critic films, write songs, listen to music, preach and work out how to apply covenant to everyday life.

So I picked up Gordon Spykman’s book Reformational Theology: A New Paradigm for Doing Dogmatics. I know to most of you it doesn’t sound any different than Philosophy and truth be told the first section that I read did deal with Philosophy but it was from a different perspective. For me the book is more applied philosophy. In other words, to use a construction metaphor: how do you lay good footers upon which to build a solid foundation or how do you build upon the rock instead of sand.

It’s one thing to say you're building upon the rock and it’s another thing to actually do it. You see I was told that Christ was my rock when I was a kid when all the while Christ was being placed on a footing of Greek Philosophy that told me the material world was bad. That there were two substances in conflict with each other the spiritual and the secular and that Christ was the only thing that was worth seeking and he couldn’t be really obtained in this world so you had to endure this physical world until Jesus would come back and take us to the real world. Such dualism is the death of biblical faith.

Those things are bad footers that will cause the foundation of Christ to crumble. You see this world is God’s world – every single bit of it. There is nothing on this planet or in the material world that is not God’s property. Because that is true there is no such thing as secular; there is only obedience or disobedience. We are either striving for the things of God or against them. There is no neutral place where we can go to get away from the owner of all that is. Everything is religious because everything we do is done in faith; either a faith that moves toward Ywhw as king or a faith that moves toward man as king. There is no other option.

So in the Spykman book I’ve been tracing the history of bad construction in the church. It is so good to be reading books that are answering questions that have been hiding in the back of my head for so many years. You see I want to write a book someday that deals with the faulty foundations of the church in relation to the arts especially music, especially rock and roll.

Hans Rookmaaker wrote a book called The Death of Culture which I highly recommend. In it he talked about modern art and music and how it was revealing the death of culture all around us. After thinking through that for several years my thought is that since the church is supposed to be salt which perseveres and light which keeps the darkness at bay then what has been going on in the church that is causing culture to decay and grow dark?

In my opinion, the answer is bad footers. The church has refused to take all thoughts captive for Christ. In the arts we refused to take music theory captive for Christ. We thought that music was neutral. That it didn’t make any difference and so we believed the lies that some chords were evil, some beats were evil, some sounds were ungodly and all of those things are not true. All music, all sound waves were created by God for his glory and they were created good. A seventh chord is not less of a chord than a major third. Neither is a 13^th chord. A back beat was created by God just like every other beat.

Just because Prince or the B52's or even a stripper use a back beat to glorify sin doesn’t mean that the back beat is sinful. I know preachers that use sermons to promote sin but that doesn’t make the sermon sin. It’s time to begin to think biblically about every area of life. It is time to separate the tares from the wheat in our understanding of the world in which we live. If we don’t begin to not only will we have to pay a price on Judgment day but the generations that follow us will pay the price of us building on bad footers. When the shaking comes, and it surely will come, most of what we have built will come

crashing down around those we’ve left behind – our children and our grandchildren.

I want something better for my heirs. I want something better for this world.

I pray that the words of Roger Waters are not our legacy:

We watched the tragedy unfold We did as we were told We bought and sold

It was the greatest show on earth But then it was over We oohed and aahed

We drove our racing cars We ate our last few jars of caviar

And somewhere out there in the stars A keen-eyed look-out Spied a flickering light
Our last hurrah

And when they found our shadows Groups 'round the TV sets They ran down every lead

They repeated every test They checked out all the data in their lists
And then the alien anthropologists Admitted they were still perplexed
But on eliminating every other reason For our sad demise
They logged the only explanation left

This species has amused itself to death
No tears to cry No feelings left
This species has amused itself to death

Amused itself to death

May we find the grace to lay solid footings for the foundation upon which we build the kingdom of God.

Brad