Morning Everyone,
There are days that I don’t like the word of God. That happens more than I like to think about, actually. I mean it would be ok if it were just a book, even a great book like Shakespere or Flannery O’Connor, then you could just ignore the parts you don’t want to deal with. I know a lot of people say they believe the bible is the word of God but then again most people who say that, just say it; they don’t really believe it. I mean Romans 9; First Corinthians 12 and 14; Proverbs 16:4; (insert your least favorite verses here) can’t really be the words of God. Can they?
Today, I wish I could be brain dead and rich like Joel Olstein and only speak good things. I wish I could pick and choose happy things, easy things, nice things to think about. I wish I was someone else ‘cause there is plenty about me that I could do without. One of the things I could do without is the passion that I have for the whole word of God. It’s an all or nothing thing with me. There are a multitude of reasons for that but I think my wife summed it up for me very nicely last night when she said: “Some people just think too much.” It was dark in the car when she said it, but I’m pretty sure she was looking at me.
What I hate about that is that the whole word of God (which, contrary to popular opinion, really is the summation of the good news) often times doesn’t come across as very good. Sometimes the word of God is like an ice cream cone dipped in glass slivers.
I bring all this up because I got to watch the word of God hurt people last night. People that I love with all my heart. People that I don’t want to hurt first, because I love them and second, because they have had lives full of pain already: they don’t need God adding to it. (In my humble opinion).
Even as I feel this way, I am reminded of the verse that says “show no pity” with regard to bringing about justice. I probably should have added that one to the above list. I can see perhaps for the first time how and why someone would eliminate some aspect of the glass slivered gospel. “I love this person, I can’t say that. Not here, not now. I’ll do it later. I could never hurt them like that.” Pity trumps the word of God and later never comes and before you know it a generation arises that does not know the Lord.
I don’t, and probably never will, understand the why’s of God’s plan. I have, on many occasions, screamed and yelled at him for his plan. I still occasionally hate his plan. I am convinced that I could have done better. How could 5 years of sexual abuse be planned by a good God? How could 45 years of fallout from those 5 years or being cast aside like a used up rag by a woman you worshipped be considered working to the good?
Some days those things still feel like slivers of glass going down my throat, and as I swallow, I wonder what’s so good about the good news here now in the midst of life? ‘Cause if it’s just about heaven when I die then let the good times roll: A bullet in the head would be a whole lot quicker way to get to the pearly gates. I really don’t think God knew what he was talking about when he said all things work to the good to those who love him and are called according to his purpose. I’m just stupid enough to be the one who admits it while at the same time believing the word of God is true.
Truth is, none of this would matter if I wasn’t a pastor. I could think all day and keep it to myself and nobody would be the wiser. But I am a pastor. I’m a pastor who has wound up loving his people more than he ever thought he would. I’m a pastor who doesn’t want to see his people hurt. I’m a pastor that doesn’t like setting bones because while it may not hurt me more than it does them; it still hurts me. I’m a pastor that wants to make everything alright but just doesn’t have the power to change reality.
Unlike Frank Zappa, I’m not only in this for the money. I’m in this for the truth. I’m in this for the promises of God. I want to see the good news bear fruit in people’s lives. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without the slivers of glass. God planned them to make me what I will some day be. I know that. I believe that to be true. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. Thankfully, liking the word of God is not mandatory at this point in time, believing it to be true is.
There has been a voice whispering to me since I saw the looks of pain, and the flares of anger last night that keeps repeating: "I told you so. You had to go and mention that didn’t you? You had to really believe the word of God is true didn’t you? Look what that caused. Look what the word of God is doing to your congregation. Recant. Recant. And maybe everything will be ok."
I have spent my whole life giving up, quitting, and running away. I can’t do it anymore. As broken and messed up as my life has been; as full of anger and shame and fear that I have been, if this thing called my life hasn’t been planned by God, and I mean every step of it, even the unmentionable horrors, then I will be honest with you: I have no hope. ‘Cause the things that pass for God and the Gospel these days aren’t big enough or strong enough to save me from myself.
You see if I was in control I would be dead. I wanted to be dead. But God has kept me alive. Now, here I am almost 50 years into the journey: A journey I would have stopped at any point along the way just so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain anymore. And as I approach the 50 year marker I am just now, do you hear me? Just now, getting a glimpse that maybe that pain will bring glory to God some day. Maybe my years in the hands of abusers and the grip of addiction was for a purpose. Maybe.
I need desperately for this to be God’s plan because if it’s not I’m a loser, I’m a victim. I am a man who had great promise once but never quite seem to make it. I’m a jack of all trades but master of none. I will never have what it takes to play the game, either in the church or out. I am without hope of succeeding in any sense of the word. I know what it’s like in my head, so trust me on these things.
So, in the midst of walking through the broken glass that fills the good news I will end with a quote from Maaarrtaaaain: (Luther not Lawerence) I will not, I cannot recant. Here I Stand. I can do no other. God help me. Amen.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wish You were here
Morning Everyone,
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell? I wonder sometimes. Perception, the fall, the hectic-ness of life, our own rebellion egged on by the heart of King I; these things tend to blur our vision. I wonder, in the midst of that blurry vision, how many of us will trade our heroes for ghosts? Will we give up a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
The temptation is always there, at least for me. There are times when I see the things that come from the hand of God, and everything comes from there, and I say this can’t be good, this can’t be working toward my good. I can do better than this. I can plan things better. And it is usually much later on that I realize that my middle name must be Adam because I am acting just like my distance relative. I think I know better. I think I can plan better, and if the opportunity arose, just like Adam, I would jump at the chance to play the lead role in a cage. Think of the adoring fans; think of the fame, the wealth, the prestige etc etc.
I think it was CS Lewis, maybe in his wonderful book the Great Divorce that said something like when we get to the end of the journey the saints will look back and see everything as a bit of heaven. The lost will look back and see nothing but hell. Do you think you can tell?
In the midst of my blurry vision I find myself wishing God was here. Oh don’t get me wrong I know he is here, his providence is all around us. He was here the whole time between the death of Malachi and the birth of Jesus but he didn’t say anything for 400 years, he didn’t make his presence known in any special way. The prophets certainly didn’t speak – there were no prophets for 400 years. Some days, like Randy Newman sings: I think He’s Hiding. I mean why shouldn’t he hide? We’re content to run the show. We’re content with powerlessness and words as long as the cash is flowing and we can still sell people the gospel. I mean we’ve got the bible what do we need God for?
I got a glimpse of just how empty our words are last Sunday night when a couple of young people who have rarely stepped foot into a church before paid us a visit. This sweet, young, smart ninth grader took advantage of our free form discussion and just started asking questions about anything and everything. Maybe our words were good enough but I seriously doubt it.
Her brother is torn between paganism and Christianity but he really has no understanding of what being a Christian is. He doesn’t just want words though, I can tell you that. I was thinking of the passage in Acts chapter 2 this week that says, “and the Lord added daily to the church” and I realized that all they would be able to write about where we’re at is “and the Lord transferred their membership from one church to another, weakly. “ (the spelling is correct).
I really wish God was here. I wish that he would demonstrate his power once again. I have my doubts as to whether it would bring people to the faith but it might help strengthen me for the road ahead.
My wife was talking very adamantly about the need to have hope that people can and will be saved. I believe God can save people but what is he going to save them from? Is he going to put them in the church? Is that like sending them out of the frying pan and into the fire? What is the purpose of being a part of the church that exists in the 21st century? Is it to increase the value of starbucks stock or increase sales of audio and video equipment? Because those things coupled with empty words are what the church is offering these days.
When’s the last time you were delivered from bondage in your life? No better yet, when was the last time you wanted to be delivered from bondage? We like being in bondage, we like having a lead role in a cage, especially if the cage is our life. We are unwilling to give up sin (insert your favorite here) or self in order to pursue righteousness. We deserve to be able to ‘have fun’ every now and then. Life is hard so get off our backs about a little sin.
We love death more than we love life. Or better yet we don’t think God knows what life is. We know what living is and God is mistaken when he calls it death. God is old you know, probably has Alzheimer’s disease by now.
So the church goes on while God is nowhere to be found. Baptisms increased this year, church attendance is up: who needs God? All we need are bad economic times and more advertising.
I long for God to show up. I long for him to tear down the façade of the church, to tear down the façade of me, so that I can walk the path of righteousness in power and authority that is supposed to fill the words we say we hold dear.
But here we are: Running over the same old ground and what have we found?The same old fears?
When is mature love going to start doing some casting out?
I want to live in the land of the dying and see the curse reversed. I want out of the cage.
I want to get back to the war.
Brad
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell? I wonder sometimes. Perception, the fall, the hectic-ness of life, our own rebellion egged on by the heart of King I; these things tend to blur our vision. I wonder, in the midst of that blurry vision, how many of us will trade our heroes for ghosts? Will we give up a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
The temptation is always there, at least for me. There are times when I see the things that come from the hand of God, and everything comes from there, and I say this can’t be good, this can’t be working toward my good. I can do better than this. I can plan things better. And it is usually much later on that I realize that my middle name must be Adam because I am acting just like my distance relative. I think I know better. I think I can plan better, and if the opportunity arose, just like Adam, I would jump at the chance to play the lead role in a cage. Think of the adoring fans; think of the fame, the wealth, the prestige etc etc.
I think it was CS Lewis, maybe in his wonderful book the Great Divorce that said something like when we get to the end of the journey the saints will look back and see everything as a bit of heaven. The lost will look back and see nothing but hell. Do you think you can tell?
In the midst of my blurry vision I find myself wishing God was here. Oh don’t get me wrong I know he is here, his providence is all around us. He was here the whole time between the death of Malachi and the birth of Jesus but he didn’t say anything for 400 years, he didn’t make his presence known in any special way. The prophets certainly didn’t speak – there were no prophets for 400 years. Some days, like Randy Newman sings: I think He’s Hiding. I mean why shouldn’t he hide? We’re content to run the show. We’re content with powerlessness and words as long as the cash is flowing and we can still sell people the gospel. I mean we’ve got the bible what do we need God for?
I got a glimpse of just how empty our words are last Sunday night when a couple of young people who have rarely stepped foot into a church before paid us a visit. This sweet, young, smart ninth grader took advantage of our free form discussion and just started asking questions about anything and everything. Maybe our words were good enough but I seriously doubt it.
Her brother is torn between paganism and Christianity but he really has no understanding of what being a Christian is. He doesn’t just want words though, I can tell you that. I was thinking of the passage in Acts chapter 2 this week that says, “and the Lord added daily to the church” and I realized that all they would be able to write about where we’re at is “and the Lord transferred their membership from one church to another, weakly. “ (the spelling is correct).
I really wish God was here. I wish that he would demonstrate his power once again. I have my doubts as to whether it would bring people to the faith but it might help strengthen me for the road ahead.
My wife was talking very adamantly about the need to have hope that people can and will be saved. I believe God can save people but what is he going to save them from? Is he going to put them in the church? Is that like sending them out of the frying pan and into the fire? What is the purpose of being a part of the church that exists in the 21st century? Is it to increase the value of starbucks stock or increase sales of audio and video equipment? Because those things coupled with empty words are what the church is offering these days.
When’s the last time you were delivered from bondage in your life? No better yet, when was the last time you wanted to be delivered from bondage? We like being in bondage, we like having a lead role in a cage, especially if the cage is our life. We are unwilling to give up sin (insert your favorite here) or self in order to pursue righteousness. We deserve to be able to ‘have fun’ every now and then. Life is hard so get off our backs about a little sin.
We love death more than we love life. Or better yet we don’t think God knows what life is. We know what living is and God is mistaken when he calls it death. God is old you know, probably has Alzheimer’s disease by now.
So the church goes on while God is nowhere to be found. Baptisms increased this year, church attendance is up: who needs God? All we need are bad economic times and more advertising.
I long for God to show up. I long for him to tear down the façade of the church, to tear down the façade of me, so that I can walk the path of righteousness in power and authority that is supposed to fill the words we say we hold dear.
But here we are: Running over the same old ground and what have we found?The same old fears?
When is mature love going to start doing some casting out?
I want to live in the land of the dying and see the curse reversed. I want out of the cage.
I want to get back to the war.
Brad
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Put the Message in a Box
Morning,
I was just wondering if I could tap into that vast reservoir of wasted time that stretches out behind me for close to fifty years. I could use it now. It would be nice to have a little stock pile of time to use on the side so you could use the time of the current day to do your regularly scheduled programs and still get done all the things that are back logging in the production room. Some days, I feel like a one armed juggler with 5 plates in the air above my head.
The events of the last couple weeks have reminded me that everything can change in a heartbeat. Your life can be turned in a totally different direction in the blink of an eye. I’m not guaranteed to have the ability to write for the rest of my days, or to preach, or to do any of the things that I so often take for granted. And thinking like that has put an urgency on me to get moving, to produce, to write the things that need to be written.
Just last night some friends told me I needed to write on a certain topic, and they are probably correct. It should be written on. But I simply have to add it to the waiting list of things that need to be written about. I’ve been trying to push myself to get the next book done. I am so close that I can taste it. But yet, sometimes life pushes back and says not yet.
It’s hard to believe that God would put so many things in his plan that can’t get done or won’t get done but they are all around me laying in unfinished bits and pieces. Sometimes they taunt me and try to drag me down to their level. It’s then that I must remember that the ability to finish anything is a gift of God. Maybe you have never had a problem with finishing things, I don’t know. But there was a time in my life where God saw fit to not let me finish anything. I started things all the time. I had big ideas but push never came to shove and my attention was drawn off to something else, and then something else etc etc for all eternity, or so it seemed.
Apart from the grace of God poured out in lots of counseling, and many hours sitting in a 12 step circle the thing that really turned it around for me was hearing someone tell me I could do it. I can see it now. I can hear it. This beautiful, young woman who happened to be my new wife looked at me and said “Why are you a janitor? You can be so much more.”
They were simple words but in some way they were the gift of grace that I had been waiting for all my life. I remember them piercing into my heart and settling there like a seed in a sown field. They’re still growing.
God had been breaking up the fallow ground of my heart for thirty-two years before he let that word of grace be planted in my heart. He has spent the next 17 and three quarters years nurturing its growth. Because of those words I now find myself struggling to find the time, not the desire, to finish this mound of projects. By the grace of God I write two sermons, and this blogmail thing every week. I have two novels published, a third almost ready to go to press, a fourth half way written and a pile of other ideas waiting in line.
So I guess I can say it’s my wife’s fault that I don’t have the time to get all these things done.
I still am not sure how I got from back there to here. Oh yes, I do the grace of God let me work out my salvation with fear and trembling. God grew me up a little bit and allowed a maturing love to cast out some of the fears that kept me in bondage for so long.
I am beginning, just beginning to understand why God needed me to be so broken for so long before he began to restore me. I needed to know what brokenness felt like. I needed to know that I didn’t have the ability to make it through life on my own. I needed to know that I couldn’t do it without His grace. I needed to know those things so I could write what I write today.
I think some days, my wife wishes she would have kept her mouth shut 17 years ago. She doesn’t really like to read what I write, at least the novels that I pour myself into. But I don’t write because I want to make people happy, or because I want to make money. I write because I want the broken people of the world to know that they don’t have to be broken anymore. I write because even though I have always been in the church nobody ever told me the truth about life while I was there, and I want to make sure that others have the opportunity to hear the truth and nothing but the truth about the way life is.
I am so tired of lies. I’m tired of happily ever after being our role model. I’m tired of the gospel being cleaned up and sanitized and simplified for mass consumption. I’m tired of the gospel being restricted to words that don’t do anything. I’m tired of having to live a lie so that I can meet the expectations of what other people think the gospel is supposed to look like.
I, me, in all my messed up, foul mouthed, sinful mess is what the gospel looks like in the real world. I write messy things so that the broken people out there who are never going to be good enough for Christianity in the 21st century can get a glimpse of the good news that has been given for them.
I write because there are broken people who need desperately a news that is good enough to set them free from the crap they find themselves in. They need more than words. They need true and powerful words that are full of real grace for a real world, words that actually cause change to happen.
I am, of course reminded of a song, this time by World Party, called Put Message in a Box.
And if you listen now you might hearA new sound coming in as an old one disappears.See the world in just one grain of sand.You better take a closer look.Don't let it slip right thru your hand.Won't you please hear the call. Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.Now is the moment, please understand.The road is wide open to the heart of every man. A few simple words so a mule could understand.He don't want tomorrow if it's just crumbling into sand.Won't you please hear the call. Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.The World says Give a little bitGive a little bit of your love to me'Cause I'm waiting right here with my open arms.Give a little bit. Give a little bit of your soul to me'Cause I'm waiting to behold your many charms.Is that love in the air? Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.
While it feels like there is not enough time to do what needs to be done, it is urgency that drives that feeling. It is time to proclaim good news to a broken people not so they can start going to church and live a lie under a façade of goodness but so they can be restored in every area of their lives by the grace of God to be real human beings honest about the condition they are in to the glory of God.
That is the cry of my heart that is why I do what I do.
And as long as I am able; I will continue to do it.
Until the real good news gets heard,
Brad
I was just wondering if I could tap into that vast reservoir of wasted time that stretches out behind me for close to fifty years. I could use it now. It would be nice to have a little stock pile of time to use on the side so you could use the time of the current day to do your regularly scheduled programs and still get done all the things that are back logging in the production room. Some days, I feel like a one armed juggler with 5 plates in the air above my head.
The events of the last couple weeks have reminded me that everything can change in a heartbeat. Your life can be turned in a totally different direction in the blink of an eye. I’m not guaranteed to have the ability to write for the rest of my days, or to preach, or to do any of the things that I so often take for granted. And thinking like that has put an urgency on me to get moving, to produce, to write the things that need to be written.
Just last night some friends told me I needed to write on a certain topic, and they are probably correct. It should be written on. But I simply have to add it to the waiting list of things that need to be written about. I’ve been trying to push myself to get the next book done. I am so close that I can taste it. But yet, sometimes life pushes back and says not yet.
It’s hard to believe that God would put so many things in his plan that can’t get done or won’t get done but they are all around me laying in unfinished bits and pieces. Sometimes they taunt me and try to drag me down to their level. It’s then that I must remember that the ability to finish anything is a gift of God. Maybe you have never had a problem with finishing things, I don’t know. But there was a time in my life where God saw fit to not let me finish anything. I started things all the time. I had big ideas but push never came to shove and my attention was drawn off to something else, and then something else etc etc for all eternity, or so it seemed.
Apart from the grace of God poured out in lots of counseling, and many hours sitting in a 12 step circle the thing that really turned it around for me was hearing someone tell me I could do it. I can see it now. I can hear it. This beautiful, young woman who happened to be my new wife looked at me and said “Why are you a janitor? You can be so much more.”
They were simple words but in some way they were the gift of grace that I had been waiting for all my life. I remember them piercing into my heart and settling there like a seed in a sown field. They’re still growing.
God had been breaking up the fallow ground of my heart for thirty-two years before he let that word of grace be planted in my heart. He has spent the next 17 and three quarters years nurturing its growth. Because of those words I now find myself struggling to find the time, not the desire, to finish this mound of projects. By the grace of God I write two sermons, and this blogmail thing every week. I have two novels published, a third almost ready to go to press, a fourth half way written and a pile of other ideas waiting in line.
So I guess I can say it’s my wife’s fault that I don’t have the time to get all these things done.
I still am not sure how I got from back there to here. Oh yes, I do the grace of God let me work out my salvation with fear and trembling. God grew me up a little bit and allowed a maturing love to cast out some of the fears that kept me in bondage for so long.
I am beginning, just beginning to understand why God needed me to be so broken for so long before he began to restore me. I needed to know what brokenness felt like. I needed to know that I didn’t have the ability to make it through life on my own. I needed to know that I couldn’t do it without His grace. I needed to know those things so I could write what I write today.
I think some days, my wife wishes she would have kept her mouth shut 17 years ago. She doesn’t really like to read what I write, at least the novels that I pour myself into. But I don’t write because I want to make people happy, or because I want to make money. I write because I want the broken people of the world to know that they don’t have to be broken anymore. I write because even though I have always been in the church nobody ever told me the truth about life while I was there, and I want to make sure that others have the opportunity to hear the truth and nothing but the truth about the way life is.
I am so tired of lies. I’m tired of happily ever after being our role model. I’m tired of the gospel being cleaned up and sanitized and simplified for mass consumption. I’m tired of the gospel being restricted to words that don’t do anything. I’m tired of having to live a lie so that I can meet the expectations of what other people think the gospel is supposed to look like.
I, me, in all my messed up, foul mouthed, sinful mess is what the gospel looks like in the real world. I write messy things so that the broken people out there who are never going to be good enough for Christianity in the 21st century can get a glimpse of the good news that has been given for them.
I write because there are broken people who need desperately a news that is good enough to set them free from the crap they find themselves in. They need more than words. They need true and powerful words that are full of real grace for a real world, words that actually cause change to happen.
I am, of course reminded of a song, this time by World Party, called Put Message in a Box.
And if you listen now you might hearA new sound coming in as an old one disappears.See the world in just one grain of sand.You better take a closer look.Don't let it slip right thru your hand.Won't you please hear the call. Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.Now is the moment, please understand.The road is wide open to the heart of every man. A few simple words so a mule could understand.He don't want tomorrow if it's just crumbling into sand.Won't you please hear the call. Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.The World says Give a little bitGive a little bit of your love to me'Cause I'm waiting right here with my open arms.Give a little bit. Give a little bit of your soul to me'Cause I'm waiting to behold your many charms.Is that love in the air? Put the message in the box. Put the box into the car.Drive the car around the world until you get heard.
While it feels like there is not enough time to do what needs to be done, it is urgency that drives that feeling. It is time to proclaim good news to a broken people not so they can start going to church and live a lie under a façade of goodness but so they can be restored in every area of their lives by the grace of God to be real human beings honest about the condition they are in to the glory of God.
That is the cry of my heart that is why I do what I do.
And as long as I am able; I will continue to do it.
Until the real good news gets heard,
Brad
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Did Galileo Pray?
Hey Everyone,
I am amazed at how God often times keeps things hidden for a long time, perhaps a better phrase would be he keeps them hidden until the right time. Out of a conversation I had last week with a long time friend I found a new book to read. I’m pretty picky about my reading. Though I write fiction I don’t read much because, well, there’s not too much that keeps my attention. And when it comes to non-fiction, well the truth is, I don’t read much except theology. What did Solomon say? Oh yeah, to the writing of books there is no end and the excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.
I hadn’t devoured a new book in a long time. I’ve tried several. I have John Frame’s newest book to endanger the forests of the world, Christian Ethics. But though I’ve had it for over a year, and even though I was looking forward to its release with much anticipation, I haven’t made it past the third chapter. (This is as opposed to the first two in his Lordship series which I devoured in about a week each).
I am working my way slowly through R.J. Rushdoony’s Roots of Reconstruction, and I am enjoying it and learning tons but it’s not really a single book it’s more a collection of short Chalcedon articles so I’m reading it more like a devotion book; an article or two a night before I go to bed.
And then this week I printed off H. Evan Runner’s book: The Relation of the Bible to Learning and I can’t put it down. It is filling in gaps in my thinking and speaking my language, or a language that I can understand. Lights are going off (and that’s a good thing for me anyway).
You see I led and lead a pretty sheltered life theologically. In my younger days, I was too afraid of being contaminated by liberalism and ended up embracing fundamentalism and its disdain for intellectual pursuits. So I was 25 before I’d ever heard of Rushdoony and 30 before I knew what the reformed faith was. I was 47 before I pushed the reformed faith farther than it wanted to go and ended back at the Baptist Church ( a very unusual Baptist Church by the way – they wanted me to be their pastor). These things were hidden from me for some reason.
But when I found these things I ate them up because they were like life to me. They filled in gaps that my isolation had left me with. They tore down structures that weren’t built on the foundation of scripture. They also got me into a lot of trouble. I’m not sure why believing scripture to really be the word of God and then trying to apply it faithfully gets a person in trouble in the church but it does. And in fact, if God ever does allow us to really begin to think Christianly again I fear the backlash from the church more than I do the humanists. (Don’t ever forget the Pharisees were the church leaders of their day).
God took me down a lot of preparatory roads of learning before he let me read the words I’ve been reading this week. He prepared my heart to receive and my brain to comprehend. It is as if the road has made a sharp turn and I find myself more focused on my destination than ever before. Things are coming together, in my head at least, that may very well help me flesh out the thoughts that have been bouncing around without a home for a long time.
I don’t usually get this taken by a new author but as I read the words of H. Evan Runner I find a kindred spirit, a man who believes the word of God is powerful, that it is deeper and more meaningful than the words on the pages of the bible and unless you have an encounter with powerful word of God you will never understand the words in the book that we hold dear. Here is a man who understood that if the word of God is true then anything that contradicts it, in any field of study is a lie. He is well aware that we live in a world that is based upon a lie and his call is for us to be people of the word of power and truth. Unless we do that we can never truly learn anything in any area of knowledge because our learning will be based on false information.
Those are ideas that will either empower Christianity to conquer the world or get those who really believe them crucified. The jury’s still out on how that will work its way out in our time.
In the process of finding Runner, I ran across this website that has begun to put out of print books into PDF format. The site is
http://www.reformationalpublishingproject.com/rpp/index.asp
It is amazing. They have all of Herman Dooeyweerd’s books there, as well as, many others that I haven’t heard of. This discovery has left me with several dilemmas. Do I print these off (some of them are 1200 page books) or do I get an I pad or a kindle? The next is: I wonder how difficult it is to learn to read Dutch?
A foundation of true truth is more important than anything. Are we willing to embrace it regardless of the consequences to our own lives? I am reminded of another Ellis Paul song (it’s in my player this week) this one called: Did Galileo Pray?
When he looked Into a starry sky upon Jupiter,
With it's cold moons Making their weary rounds.
Did he know that the Pope
Would claim that he ran with Lucifer
And a prison cell Would be where he'd lay his head down?
Was he wearing a thorny crown?
When he plotted the motion of planets, Was Mercury in retrograde?
But he found the truth when a lie was what was demanded.
When the judges asked him pointedly
He was a' trembling that day.
Did Galileo pray?
And he said, Tell Ptolemy, tell Copernicus,
That the Sun is at the core of us
The Church, the Pope Can't deny the Milky Way
And every flower that follows the sun,
Has known all along What God has done
They whisper truth As the seasons each give way.
Don't shoot the messenger, The postman delivers Truth today.
And Truth will march in Birmingham
It will block the tanks in Tiananmen.
Put the judges on the witness stand
Let's see what they all say. I
n the heavens you'll see it As God has conceived it.
Oh, believe it. Oh, what have you got to do to believe?
------- What do we have to do to believe? It is time to put synthesis aside, the blending of truth and lie into something we can all live with. It’s time to believe the truth alone.
Even as we pump water and shovel mud from our houses.
Eyes to see and ears to hear for you all,
Brad
I am amazed at how God often times keeps things hidden for a long time, perhaps a better phrase would be he keeps them hidden until the right time. Out of a conversation I had last week with a long time friend I found a new book to read. I’m pretty picky about my reading. Though I write fiction I don’t read much because, well, there’s not too much that keeps my attention. And when it comes to non-fiction, well the truth is, I don’t read much except theology. What did Solomon say? Oh yeah, to the writing of books there is no end and the excessive devotion to books is wearying to the body.
I hadn’t devoured a new book in a long time. I’ve tried several. I have John Frame’s newest book to endanger the forests of the world, Christian Ethics. But though I’ve had it for over a year, and even though I was looking forward to its release with much anticipation, I haven’t made it past the third chapter. (This is as opposed to the first two in his Lordship series which I devoured in about a week each).
I am working my way slowly through R.J. Rushdoony’s Roots of Reconstruction, and I am enjoying it and learning tons but it’s not really a single book it’s more a collection of short Chalcedon articles so I’m reading it more like a devotion book; an article or two a night before I go to bed.
And then this week I printed off H. Evan Runner’s book: The Relation of the Bible to Learning and I can’t put it down. It is filling in gaps in my thinking and speaking my language, or a language that I can understand. Lights are going off (and that’s a good thing for me anyway).
You see I led and lead a pretty sheltered life theologically. In my younger days, I was too afraid of being contaminated by liberalism and ended up embracing fundamentalism and its disdain for intellectual pursuits. So I was 25 before I’d ever heard of Rushdoony and 30 before I knew what the reformed faith was. I was 47 before I pushed the reformed faith farther than it wanted to go and ended back at the Baptist Church ( a very unusual Baptist Church by the way – they wanted me to be their pastor). These things were hidden from me for some reason.
But when I found these things I ate them up because they were like life to me. They filled in gaps that my isolation had left me with. They tore down structures that weren’t built on the foundation of scripture. They also got me into a lot of trouble. I’m not sure why believing scripture to really be the word of God and then trying to apply it faithfully gets a person in trouble in the church but it does. And in fact, if God ever does allow us to really begin to think Christianly again I fear the backlash from the church more than I do the humanists. (Don’t ever forget the Pharisees were the church leaders of their day).
God took me down a lot of preparatory roads of learning before he let me read the words I’ve been reading this week. He prepared my heart to receive and my brain to comprehend. It is as if the road has made a sharp turn and I find myself more focused on my destination than ever before. Things are coming together, in my head at least, that may very well help me flesh out the thoughts that have been bouncing around without a home for a long time.
I don’t usually get this taken by a new author but as I read the words of H. Evan Runner I find a kindred spirit, a man who believes the word of God is powerful, that it is deeper and more meaningful than the words on the pages of the bible and unless you have an encounter with powerful word of God you will never understand the words in the book that we hold dear. Here is a man who understood that if the word of God is true then anything that contradicts it, in any field of study is a lie. He is well aware that we live in a world that is based upon a lie and his call is for us to be people of the word of power and truth. Unless we do that we can never truly learn anything in any area of knowledge because our learning will be based on false information.
Those are ideas that will either empower Christianity to conquer the world or get those who really believe them crucified. The jury’s still out on how that will work its way out in our time.
In the process of finding Runner, I ran across this website that has begun to put out of print books into PDF format. The site is
http://www.reformationalpublishingproject.com/rpp/index.asp
It is amazing. They have all of Herman Dooeyweerd’s books there, as well as, many others that I haven’t heard of. This discovery has left me with several dilemmas. Do I print these off (some of them are 1200 page books) or do I get an I pad or a kindle? The next is: I wonder how difficult it is to learn to read Dutch?
A foundation of true truth is more important than anything. Are we willing to embrace it regardless of the consequences to our own lives? I am reminded of another Ellis Paul song (it’s in my player this week) this one called: Did Galileo Pray?
When he looked Into a starry sky upon Jupiter,
With it's cold moons Making their weary rounds.
Did he know that the Pope
Would claim that he ran with Lucifer
And a prison cell Would be where he'd lay his head down?
Was he wearing a thorny crown?
When he plotted the motion of planets, Was Mercury in retrograde?
But he found the truth when a lie was what was demanded.
When the judges asked him pointedly
He was a' trembling that day.
Did Galileo pray?
And he said, Tell Ptolemy, tell Copernicus,
That the Sun is at the core of us
The Church, the Pope Can't deny the Milky Way
And every flower that follows the sun,
Has known all along What God has done
They whisper truth As the seasons each give way.
Don't shoot the messenger, The postman delivers Truth today.
And Truth will march in Birmingham
It will block the tanks in Tiananmen.
Put the judges on the witness stand
Let's see what they all say. I
n the heavens you'll see it As God has conceived it.
Oh, believe it. Oh, what have you got to do to believe?
------- What do we have to do to believe? It is time to put synthesis aside, the blending of truth and lie into something we can all live with. It’s time to believe the truth alone.
Even as we pump water and shovel mud from our houses.
Eyes to see and ears to hear for you all,
Brad
Monday, May 3, 2010
The Only Way
Hey Everyone,
Well, it was quite the weekend: 12 inches of rain in a 48 hour period can mess up a lot of people’s lives. At our house, which is a very, very fine house, with two cats in the yard life used to be so hard… sorry I started channeling Crosby, Still, Nash and maybe Young. Anyway, at our house we had a retaining wall collapse in the basement and in the process it pushed our HVAC unit over about three feet. I guess that happened Saturday sometime and then Sunday night sometime we had a four by eight section of ceiling fall to the floor.
While they both sound dramatic they were, in fact, stealth attacks. They must have happened slowly with gravity doing what gravity does when things fall. I say that because I was home almost the entire weekend and I never heard either of the things happen.
I just spent the last hour and a half moving concrete blocks and shoveling mud in the process of beginning to clean up. I was able to put the furnace back in place and the Evaporator coil back on top of it with some effort and a lot of shoveling. My AC guy just told me that I didn’t lose any Freon so a little duct tape in a couple spots and I’m good to go.
The ceiling is another matter. It is only a symptom of another problem. I have a leak in my roof, somewhere. This, after I spent last summer putting new asphalt rolls on that section of my house. I got the other 5 leaks taken care of but somehow I created a new one. The truth is it’s time for a whole new roof.
I talk a lot about taking dominion and also about beginning that process on the local level. While I talk the talk, my house is telling me I’m not walking the walk. I can’t even take dominion over my own house. I’ll go so far as to say most of the time : I don’t even try.
Now, in my own defense, I’m pretty busy and until recently I’ve been financially strapped to say the least. In fact, on Friday before the rain hit I paid off the last of my debt from my house flipping partnership that left me, well, let’s just say, in the hole deeper that I would have liked. It has taken me 5 years to dig my way out, and I was looking forward to using the freed up cash to pay on some other debts; and then the rain came.
This morning the roof/ceiling, wall/hvac problems were the only rain related difficulties in my life, but then toward the end of the day I realized that Opryland Hotel had 9 feet of water in it’s lobby. Now, I knew things were bad –my wife was transported from work to a local high school along with all the other employees and guest sometime last night. She finally made it home about 4:30 this morning. But on my way home from work today it hit me that my wife has been effectively laid off from work. It’s kind of hard to be a concierge standing in 9 feet of water with no guests staying at the hotel. They say it will be three to four months before they reopen, but the river hasn’t crested yet, so we’ll see.
In 48 hours my life has really been turned upside down. But, the truth is, as bad as it is, there are many, many people who have it a lot worse. I have a friend/acquaintance from the church I work at during the week, I just worked his son’s wedding last weekend, and anyway, sometime around noon today, they came to pull his family to safety in a boat. His house, his vehicles everything except hsi family, was underwater. I’ve heard of family after family in similar situations. At least 12 people have died, three or four blocks of down town are flooded.
So, I’ve got it pretty good. Thankfully, God is in control and not chance. There is a purpose because there is a plan. I don’t always like that, and I can rarely figure out what the plan is, but I am learning to find comfort even in things I don’t like and can't understand.
The events of the last few days haven’t left me in despair. If anything, they have strengthened my resolve, and shown me a sinful attitude in my own heart. My actions aren’t matching my words when it comes to taking dominion over creation, yes, my house is a part of creation and as I write this it occurs to me that my body is also a part of creation that needs a little dominion taken over it as well.
Would someone please schedule me a lobotomy I’m thinking way too much.
The truth is its time to begin a new change, it's time for some repentance.
I happened upon some new Ellis Paul songs this week and one called 'the only way' struck a huge chord with me today. Here are some of the lyrics.
I read the paper I watch the news It seems there's only pain and sufferin' And there ain't much I can do It's so senseless I feel defenseless So small
I could shut my windows Bolt my doors But if I don't feel safe enough To speak my mind anymore Then what's the use I've nothing left to lose And no farther to fall
So I'm gonna love, I'm gonna believe I'm still gonna dream But I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and give everything until I've nothing left to give That's the only way that I know how to live
There’s a time to laugh and a time to cry and a time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. I think it’s time for me to get rolling.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Well, it was quite the weekend: 12 inches of rain in a 48 hour period can mess up a lot of people’s lives. At our house, which is a very, very fine house, with two cats in the yard life used to be so hard… sorry I started channeling Crosby, Still, Nash and maybe Young. Anyway, at our house we had a retaining wall collapse in the basement and in the process it pushed our HVAC unit over about three feet. I guess that happened Saturday sometime and then Sunday night sometime we had a four by eight section of ceiling fall to the floor.
While they both sound dramatic they were, in fact, stealth attacks. They must have happened slowly with gravity doing what gravity does when things fall. I say that because I was home almost the entire weekend and I never heard either of the things happen.
I just spent the last hour and a half moving concrete blocks and shoveling mud in the process of beginning to clean up. I was able to put the furnace back in place and the Evaporator coil back on top of it with some effort and a lot of shoveling. My AC guy just told me that I didn’t lose any Freon so a little duct tape in a couple spots and I’m good to go.
The ceiling is another matter. It is only a symptom of another problem. I have a leak in my roof, somewhere. This, after I spent last summer putting new asphalt rolls on that section of my house. I got the other 5 leaks taken care of but somehow I created a new one. The truth is it’s time for a whole new roof.
I talk a lot about taking dominion and also about beginning that process on the local level. While I talk the talk, my house is telling me I’m not walking the walk. I can’t even take dominion over my own house. I’ll go so far as to say most of the time : I don’t even try.
Now, in my own defense, I’m pretty busy and until recently I’ve been financially strapped to say the least. In fact, on Friday before the rain hit I paid off the last of my debt from my house flipping partnership that left me, well, let’s just say, in the hole deeper that I would have liked. It has taken me 5 years to dig my way out, and I was looking forward to using the freed up cash to pay on some other debts; and then the rain came.
This morning the roof/ceiling, wall/hvac problems were the only rain related difficulties in my life, but then toward the end of the day I realized that Opryland Hotel had 9 feet of water in it’s lobby. Now, I knew things were bad –my wife was transported from work to a local high school along with all the other employees and guest sometime last night. She finally made it home about 4:30 this morning. But on my way home from work today it hit me that my wife has been effectively laid off from work. It’s kind of hard to be a concierge standing in 9 feet of water with no guests staying at the hotel. They say it will be three to four months before they reopen, but the river hasn’t crested yet, so we’ll see.
In 48 hours my life has really been turned upside down. But, the truth is, as bad as it is, there are many, many people who have it a lot worse. I have a friend/acquaintance from the church I work at during the week, I just worked his son’s wedding last weekend, and anyway, sometime around noon today, they came to pull his family to safety in a boat. His house, his vehicles everything except hsi family, was underwater. I’ve heard of family after family in similar situations. At least 12 people have died, three or four blocks of down town are flooded.
So, I’ve got it pretty good. Thankfully, God is in control and not chance. There is a purpose because there is a plan. I don’t always like that, and I can rarely figure out what the plan is, but I am learning to find comfort even in things I don’t like and can't understand.
The events of the last few days haven’t left me in despair. If anything, they have strengthened my resolve, and shown me a sinful attitude in my own heart. My actions aren’t matching my words when it comes to taking dominion over creation, yes, my house is a part of creation and as I write this it occurs to me that my body is also a part of creation that needs a little dominion taken over it as well.
Would someone please schedule me a lobotomy I’m thinking way too much.
The truth is its time to begin a new change, it's time for some repentance.
I happened upon some new Ellis Paul songs this week and one called 'the only way' struck a huge chord with me today. Here are some of the lyrics.
I read the paper I watch the news It seems there's only pain and sufferin' And there ain't much I can do It's so senseless I feel defenseless So small
I could shut my windows Bolt my doors But if I don't feel safe enough To speak my mind anymore Then what's the use I've nothing left to lose And no farther to fall
So I'm gonna love, I'm gonna believe I'm still gonna dream But I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and give everything until I've nothing left to give That's the only way that I know how to live
There’s a time to laugh and a time to cry and a time to roll up your sleeves and get to work. I think it’s time for me to get rolling.
Grace and Peace,
Brad
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)